I guess I’m a football fan now…that was a great game. I made a big pot of black bean and squash chili with kale and we ended up with a house full of millennials! What a great way to spend a Sunday…Go Hawks!

Today is the day before chemo #7. It seems to me that I’ve had many more than 7 treatments, but I’ve double checked and that is it. Three treatments prior to my hospitalization and 3 since my release. After only being able to handle 3 treatments prior to the hospital, this last one was particularly concerning. I kept “feeling” for the same feelings that got me into the hospital. But all is well without the xeloda and now I’m on to number 7.

The week prior to chemo (which is the 3rd week since chemo) is a bit of a funny week. Most of the strongest side effects have subsided. I can walk around without socks, and I don’t need gloves to get things out of the refrigerator. I can drink water right out of the tap but still prefer to have it a tiny bit warmed up. I have moments when my lips tingle and it feels a little like an electric current running through. I just take this feeling as reassurance that the chemo is still at work 2-3 weeks out. It is strong stuff!

But the most glaring part of week 3 is my tendency to overdo it. I’m well aware that I am coming up to chemo and I’ll be down for the count for a few days, and slow for the next week or so and I just try to get everything done. This combined with the holiday season…we’ll just say I found it difficult not to overdo things last week, this weekend… today! 

Speaking of overdoing it, Saturday we went off to Issaquah, Mike, Maggie, Michael, Eva and I to hunt for a tree to cut down. We all agreed that it seems silly to pay good money to cut down a tree and drag it in our house to die, but in spite of that, we spent a good deal of time wandering the tree farm in search of the perfect tree. We decided the perfect trees were snatched up last week and the week before. There were moments when we nearly caved…ok, this one will do…No! No! Look at it from this side! That scenario repeated itself many times. Luckily we were all in a good mood, goofy and patient, and we finally found the perfect one, ok perfect-ish!

Saturday night, the last Saturday night before chemo…you know what that means, right? Pizza! We went with Betty, Shelly, Mike, Gillian, Conor and Maggie to Delancey’s in Ballard. The pizza place I wrote about recently. Fabulous, delicious, sweet fennel sausage, tasty white pizza (usually not my favorite, this one had house made ricotta) yum with every bite! But, if you go there, make sure, like us, that you save room for dessert. We had a absolutely delicious like a lemon cloud, kind of pudding/custard/only better. Can’t remember what it is called…bodoni? bodini? something like that. What’s in a name? It was scrumptious! 

I’m 95% over my cold! Thyme and eucalyptus in the diffuser, drinking tons of water and using the nettie pot each night took pretty good care of it. Just a little stuffiness left to deal with. That means no more excuses to keep me out of the exercise room. I started back Friday and have gone downstairs everyday since for at least 45 minutes…spin bike, stretches, PT routines and a few pilates exercises.Today and tomorrow I’m going to make it an hour, then I’ll be out of it a day or so after chemo.  It feels good to feel good enough to work out a bit. I’ve been told repeatedly that exercise is a huge part of fighting cancer. Fighting cancer is my full time job, so exercise I must!

My challenge now is sleep. I’m trying different strategies, trying to stay away from the heavy meds, at least on a daily basis. I’ve been given the green light by every health care provider, including Dr. Standish at Bastyr, to use ativan liberally, and I have used it mostly at bedtime for sleep. But it is really not doing the trick anymore. A few nights I’ve tossed and turned, awake for up to 5 hours. Then the next night I have to go with the stronger stuff and I sleep like a log. Getting to sleep and staying asleep have been an ongoing challenge in my life…but this is ridiculous. I’m breathing, using essential oils, counting my blessings, meditating (as best I can), reciting my deeply ingrained catholic prayers from my childhood; repeating them like a mantra. I’m trying all the tricks from my past “normal” sleep troubled life. So, I sleep every few nights with the help of heavy duty pharmaceuticals. Better living through pharmaceuticals, they say…I say, Amen!

I read Language of Flowers last week. Thanks, Julie, I really enjoyed that story. I’m downloading (or is it uploading?) Wild to my kindle app today. I want to read it before I see it. It’s been on my list quite a while.

I have a long list of books and a high stack as well. Now that I’m caught up with The Voice and I’ve watched all the Last Tango in Halifax I have more time to read…that is until I find another series to binge watch…

Tonight we are having Lizzie and June over for dinner! I’ve avoided the baby since my cold, so I’m looking forward to some time with our neighbors.

Thank you for your love, prayers, thoughts and random acts of kindness.

Be here now...

With love 

Janet