Friday, November 25, 2016
Happy Thanksgiving!
I hope your day is filled with love and laughter, family and friends, warmth and good food.
Thank you for all your support along the way. I am so happy to be in a place and time of healing to begin this holiday season. I’ll not take one day of it for granted.
Thanks to all who were able to join us for Trivia night, we had a splendid time with amazing food. The desserts were especially noteworthy! Our preliminary numbers are in… we raised $4194 so far, with a few more checks left to process!
Enjoy your day. I’ll do the same.
Love and Peace to you and yours
Janet
Saturday, November 19, 2016
Life goes on, doesn’t it?
One way or another, life goes on.
Wednesday I had my 5th immunotherapy treatment. Swedish was running late, so it took quite a bit longer to go through the process, but otherwise an uneventful series of appointments. I talked to Dr. Kaplan about the timing of my next scan. I’ll have my next immunotherapy treatment in 3 weeks. Then he said I could scan 2-3 weeks after that. That puts us right smack dab in the middle of the holidays. Now, if I was certain my scan would show great results I’d go ahead and do it one of those weeks, right before or right after Christmas and we could just add a good scan to the list of things for which we are grateful. But, alas, there is NO way for me to know that. So, I’m going to wait. I’m going to wait until the first week in January and live through the holidays in the dark, but optimistic and full of faith and hope. I know that my cancer can spread without me feeling anything. It has done it before. I’m optimistic, but have to be realistic at the same time.
Are you coming to trivia night Sunday, November 20?
We are going to have a great time! Come if you can…
Here is what you need to know:
Pasta Dinner served at 6:00
Salad, Dessert, Beer and Wine
Trivia festivities start at 7:00
Tune Event Space
90 Blanchard Street
Seattle 98121
We’ll have teams of 6 playing trivia with a great prize basket for the winning team, including Theo’s chocolate and tours of Theo’s in Fremont (thanks Evan!), passes to Seattle Bouldering Company (thanks, Vinnie!) and more!
We also will have a raffle with some awesome prizes including an air plant in a pinch pot turned by our very own Oliver Bowl Company.
Suggested donation is $28
Raffle tickets just $1
You can bring cash, check or credit cards.
All proceeds go to Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Institute towards gastric cancer research (or another cancer of your choice).
Fred Hutch gets a good amount of credit for the research into the immunotherapy that I am currently receiving. So, though I am treated at Swedish, I have certainly directly benefitted from the Hutch, as we call it around here.
If you are planning to come and have not RSVP’d you can just let me know, you can RSVP on the evite that I have attached to the blog a couple of times or just show up! The more the merrier!
A painting update:
I was stopped in my painting tracks in September when I had to go into the hospital. I’m happy to say I finished Michael’s room before I went to Colorado so it was all ready for my momma when we came here after Colorado. Now I am nearly done with Maggie’s room. I painted the inside of the closet and in the room I painted 2 coats of primer and one coat of a cream color. I have one more coat to go and then that will be done! What a feeling of accomplishment! And, since I had trouble with colors (and really who doesn’t!) I have a couple extra gallons of paint. I’ll be painting the inside of every closet upstairs and I may even start painting some of the spaces downstairs. Listening to audio books while painting is so rewarding that it makes it less of a chore and quite enjoyable!
As you all know my hair has been growing in for some time. My last chemo was May or June of 2015 so I’ve been growing hair ever since then. It came in corse and curly and did not feel one bit like my own hair. I was rocking and enjoying the curls for a good while. Recently it had been getting longer, quite unwieldy and stopped holding the curl. I finally decided I needed to cut it off. I googled salons in West Seattle, since I no longer bring in a paycheck I could not even begin to justify the amount I used to spend to see Derek at Aveda in Belltown (bye Derek, I miss you). On Monday after yoga I was headed to Trader Joe’s and decided if Rudy’s barbershop (hipster chain in Seattle, maybe elsewhere, too???) was open I was just going to go get it short. Well, it was and I did and it is…very short. Boy short, I call it, all the way around and longer on top. But the best part is that it is my hair again!! It is no longer dead chemo hair, it is my hair and I’m so happy to have it back, even though it is so very short right now!
Is this true for you? I have found in my life, that sometimes the dread of something is much worse than the thing you are actually dreading. It was very true when Michael went away to college. The summer before was ruined for me. I cried at every turn just dreading the thought of him leaving. Then shortly after we left him on his campus in Oregon I realized that everything was going to be OK. That actually this was exactly what was supposed to happen and it was a good thing. It happened again with leaving my job. I was mourning the loss of my identity as Pathfinder Kindgergarten teacher all summer. Just dreading the fall and the return to school thinking about how sad I would be. Well, you know what, I'm actually okay and finally embracing my new found self. I was ok enough to finally venture onto my old school campus. Yesterday was Elder's Lunch Day when kids get to bring grandparents or special friends to school for lunch. Conor's grandparents were not here this year so I got to go as Conor's elder! I ate lunch with Conor and some of his classmates but I also had time to cruise through the building getting hugs and love at every turn. It was good medicine. So great to see the smiling faces of these kids I've loved so much and so many of my teacher friends. I even got up the nerve to peek into my former classroom to see the faces that could have been my daily bread. I ended the day spending a little bit of time in each of the 2/3 classrooms so I was sure to see each of my students from last year. What a gift to me. Thanks Conor for sponsoring me! I had a great day!
I went to see my very dear Dr. Standish this morning. As always she helps me feel strong and gives me a great boost. Just being with her is healing to me. I so appreciate her on my healing team.
I appreciate all of you, too.
Hope to see some of you tomorrow night for Trivia Night.
Happy Thanksgiving
With love
Sending Peace
Janet
One way or another, life goes on.
Wednesday I had my 5th immunotherapy treatment. Swedish was running late, so it took quite a bit longer to go through the process, but otherwise an uneventful series of appointments. I talked to Dr. Kaplan about the timing of my next scan. I’ll have my next immunotherapy treatment in 3 weeks. Then he said I could scan 2-3 weeks after that. That puts us right smack dab in the middle of the holidays. Now, if I was certain my scan would show great results I’d go ahead and do it one of those weeks, right before or right after Christmas and we could just add a good scan to the list of things for which we are grateful. But, alas, there is NO way for me to know that. So, I’m going to wait. I’m going to wait until the first week in January and live through the holidays in the dark, but optimistic and full of faith and hope. I know that my cancer can spread without me feeling anything. It has done it before. I’m optimistic, but have to be realistic at the same time.
Are you coming to trivia night Sunday, November 20?
We are going to have a great time! Come if you can…
Here is what you need to know:
Pasta Dinner served at 6:00
Salad, Dessert, Beer and Wine
Trivia festivities start at 7:00
Tune Event Space
90 Blanchard Street
Seattle 98121
We’ll have teams of 6 playing trivia with a great prize basket for the winning team, including Theo’s chocolate and tours of Theo’s in Fremont (thanks Evan!), passes to Seattle Bouldering Company (thanks, Vinnie!) and more!
We also will have a raffle with some awesome prizes including an air plant in a pinch pot turned by our very own Oliver Bowl Company.
Suggested donation is $28
Raffle tickets just $1
You can bring cash, check or credit cards.
All proceeds go to Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Institute towards gastric cancer research (or another cancer of your choice).
Fred Hutch gets a good amount of credit for the research into the immunotherapy that I am currently receiving. So, though I am treated at Swedish, I have certainly directly benefitted from the Hutch, as we call it around here.
If you are planning to come and have not RSVP’d you can just let me know, you can RSVP on the evite that I have attached to the blog a couple of times or just show up! The more the merrier!
A painting update:
I was stopped in my painting tracks in September when I had to go into the hospital. I’m happy to say I finished Michael’s room before I went to Colorado so it was all ready for my momma when we came here after Colorado. Now I am nearly done with Maggie’s room. I painted the inside of the closet and in the room I painted 2 coats of primer and one coat of a cream color. I have one more coat to go and then that will be done! What a feeling of accomplishment! And, since I had trouble with colors (and really who doesn’t!) I have a couple extra gallons of paint. I’ll be painting the inside of every closet upstairs and I may even start painting some of the spaces downstairs. Listening to audio books while painting is so rewarding that it makes it less of a chore and quite enjoyable!
As you all know my hair has been growing in for some time. My last chemo was May or June of 2015 so I’ve been growing hair ever since then. It came in corse and curly and did not feel one bit like my own hair. I was rocking and enjoying the curls for a good while. Recently it had been getting longer, quite unwieldy and stopped holding the curl. I finally decided I needed to cut it off. I googled salons in West Seattle, since I no longer bring in a paycheck I could not even begin to justify the amount I used to spend to see Derek at Aveda in Belltown (bye Derek, I miss you). On Monday after yoga I was headed to Trader Joe’s and decided if Rudy’s barbershop (hipster chain in Seattle, maybe elsewhere, too???) was open I was just going to go get it short. Well, it was and I did and it is…very short. Boy short, I call it, all the way around and longer on top. But the best part is that it is my hair again!! It is no longer dead chemo hair, it is my hair and I’m so happy to have it back, even though it is so very short right now!
Is this true for you? I have found in my life, that sometimes the dread of something is much worse than the thing you are actually dreading. It was very true when Michael went away to college. The summer before was ruined for me. I cried at every turn just dreading the thought of him leaving. Then shortly after we left him on his campus in Oregon I realized that everything was going to be OK. That actually this was exactly what was supposed to happen and it was a good thing. It happened again with leaving my job. I was mourning the loss of my identity as Pathfinder Kindgergarten teacher all summer. Just dreading the fall and the return to school thinking about how sad I would be. Well, you know what, I'm actually okay and finally embracing my new found self. I was ok enough to finally venture onto my old school campus. Yesterday was Elder's Lunch Day when kids get to bring grandparents or special friends to school for lunch. Conor's grandparents were not here this year so I got to go as Conor's elder! I ate lunch with Conor and some of his classmates but I also had time to cruise through the building getting hugs and love at every turn. It was good medicine. So great to see the smiling faces of these kids I've loved so much and so many of my teacher friends. I even got up the nerve to peek into my former classroom to see the faces that could have been my daily bread. I ended the day spending a little bit of time in each of the 2/3 classrooms so I was sure to see each of my students from last year. What a gift to me. Thanks Conor for sponsoring me! I had a great day!
I went to see my very dear Dr. Standish this morning. As always she helps me feel strong and gives me a great boost. Just being with her is healing to me. I so appreciate her on my healing team.
I appreciate all of you, too.
Hope to see some of you tomorrow night for Trivia Night.
Happy Thanksgiving
With love
Sending Peace
Janet
Wednesday, November 9, 2016
Writing this blog has helped me process the fact that I have cancer and the rollercoaster we’ve been on since diagnosis. I tried this morning to write a little to help me process this election…it didn’t help. I’ve felt empty and broken all day. I am heartsick. It is way too soon to talk of healing. We are in the early stages of diagnosis.
I usually stay away from Facebook when I’m stressed as I find it overwhelming. I’ve actually found it comforting today. A few things that have comforted me:
The map that shows how 18-25 year olds voted (overwhelmingly blue).
Harper’s post expressing how she wants to curl up in a ball today (just how I feel) but challenges us all to go out and do something good for someone.
Claire’s post offering her computer skills (of which she has many) to organizations wanting to fight for change.
The posts that have talked about ways to talk to children and the wise words of the children themselves.
Knowing that Hillary Clinton won the popular vote.
Seeing people pouring out their best intentions to be energized to fight for what is right and good.
I know that if I was still in the classroom I would feel stronger, better, that I was able to contribute somehow to the greater good. Home at this computer I really can’t muster that feeling. I need to take Harper’s advice and get out and do good deeds. I need to follow Claire’s lead and offer up my services where I can to fight hatred and bigotry, to fight for what is right and good.
Sending you all my love,
Janet
I usually stay away from Facebook when I’m stressed as I find it overwhelming. I’ve actually found it comforting today. A few things that have comforted me:
The map that shows how 18-25 year olds voted (overwhelmingly blue).
Harper’s post expressing how she wants to curl up in a ball today (just how I feel) but challenges us all to go out and do something good for someone.
Claire’s post offering her computer skills (of which she has many) to organizations wanting to fight for change.
The posts that have talked about ways to talk to children and the wise words of the children themselves.
Knowing that Hillary Clinton won the popular vote.
Seeing people pouring out their best intentions to be energized to fight for what is right and good.
I know that if I was still in the classroom I would feel stronger, better, that I was able to contribute somehow to the greater good. Home at this computer I really can’t muster that feeling. I need to take Harper’s advice and get out and do good deeds. I need to follow Claire’s lead and offer up my services where I can to fight hatred and bigotry, to fight for what is right and good.
Sending you all my love,
Janet
I am an optimist.
The title of my cancer blog references lemonade, for God’s sake.
But I cannot bend my mind enough to be optimistic.
Somewhere in the deep crevices of my mind I hear my optimism, a tiny voice that says things like, “He’s so unpredictable, maybe he’ll do some things right. Maybe he’ll be more socially progressive than he led us to believe.” But the voice is quickly shut down by the deafening numbness we all carry today. I know I can be naive and the fact that I even hear that voice at all is proof positive of that. I am numb and scared.
Healing has been one of my mantras. I am healing my duodenum, my liver, my lungs, my heart and my soul.
May we all heal.
Love and Peace
The title of my cancer blog references lemonade, for God’s sake.
But I cannot bend my mind enough to be optimistic.
Somewhere in the deep crevices of my mind I hear my optimism, a tiny voice that says things like, “He’s so unpredictable, maybe he’ll do some things right. Maybe he’ll be more socially progressive than he led us to believe.” But the voice is quickly shut down by the deafening numbness we all carry today. I know I can be naive and the fact that I even hear that voice at all is proof positive of that. I am numb and scared.
Healing has been one of my mantras. I am healing my duodenum, my liver, my lungs, my heart and my soul.
May we all heal.
Love and Peace
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