Greetings my friends,

I hope this post finds you at peace and in good health.

I am working at both finding and keeping both of those, myself. It is the focus of much of my time; staying calm and peaceful and in the moment and staying healthy.

I can report that I’ve made it through a solid 1/3 of the school year without catching a major cold…knock on wood. I take lots of supplements and at the first sign of a cold I double down on those. I felt like I was dodging the germs until the classic teacher move: catching something right at the start of break. Somehow our bodies know we have down time and have time to be sick. But I fought that one off, too! Kept taking all kinds of immune support capsules and tinctures, diffused essential oils, got extra sleep and I fought that right off in a couple of days.

Now I’m just working to balance my sodium and fluid levels every day. Life with heart failure is a slog! I feel sluggish much of the time and work to fight that feeling off. I’m using this break to get back into a good workout routine and hoping that makes me feel better overall.

Monday I went to see Dr. Standish and to potentially have my second Vitamin C infusion. As usual, she just made me feel better, just by her presence. She is healing and magical that way. She has me on heart supplements and has suggested some powerful immune support capsules to further my battle against the germs thrown at me by the 6 and 7 year olds. So far I have only gone in for one infusion, a couple of weeks ago. It left me feeling odd, grumpy, out of balance. I’m quite sure it has something to do with balancing my fluids and sodium. I was happy to have a chance to talk to her before getting another infusion. She decided infusions were not for me and has prescribed an oral dose of curcumin instead. The curcumin is a strong anti inflammatory and has been shown to inhibit the growth of cancer. I’m all for that! I was relieved to skip the infusion, I think it’s the right decision for me. Just as she was convinced I would get through the cancer, she is saying the same thing about my heart. My other doctors say that for most people, they are on the heart meds for the rest of their lives and that hearts don’t really completely heal from this. Well, I’ll not forget that, but I’m also not going to give up on the idea that I could be the exception to the rule.

I was not able to blog about my surprise trip to KC this month, for obvious reasons…it was a surprise! It was my mom’s birthday and I think it might have been right after the scan results I decided I needed to go to KC and see her, then it was just obvious that needed to be for her birthday. The surprise was a huge success! And in Gilroy style, it was doubled.

The plan was that both Kathy and I would surprise her; no Mickey or Mike, just the two of us. Well, the Gilroy’s don’t travel that way, I should have known and really could have predicted. When I got off the airport shuttle, it was Kathy, Mickey, Amy, Joe and Lucy! We all had a little time to spare and then off to Minskey’s to surprise Jane. She didn’t know any of us would be there. In fact, she thought she was just going to dinner with Jennifer and Matt and Kai. Jennifer got her into the back room at Minskey’s with a ruse about a friend of hers and it was filled with us! My three aunts were there as were many of my cousins, my brother, Paul and his two kids, Erica and Vince. Mom saw them and then Kathy and Mickey and said out loud, “Oh, I wish Janet could be here!” Then, my cousin Linda, sitting on my lap to cover me up popped up and mom and I had a good hug and cry, as you might imagine! It was a great whirlwind weekend and I am so glad I went. I had not seen Amy and Lucy since my diagnosis. Hadn’t seen anyone since my clear scan. My Aunt Rose Evelyn, who has been sick for  months is feeling better and was there. I got to see many of my fabulous KC cousins…I love them! It was fabulous! I’m trying to get to KC twice a year now, accomplished that for 2015! 

So, here we are just days before Christmas. We are gearing up to repeat our traditions; the market on Christmas Eve day, followed by the giant Oliver gathering at the Huget’s. The kids plan to stay the night and spend Christmas Day here at home, with us. It is surreal to look back and remember my life just one year ago. So, I’ll try to focus my energy on now, this year and celebrate knowing the darkest day of the year is passed and days are getting longer and lighter already.

Wishing you all light and peace this winter and holiday season.

Love to you all

Janet

Happy Thanksgiving 

I hope you are all having a great holiday weekend spent just the way you’d like. I’m taking some down time. I’ve relaxed more this weekend than I have in months, and it feels great!
We had our traditional Thanksgiving feast on Vashon Island this year, but it felt unlike any other Thanksgiving in my life. Last year, just one year ago, I was recovering from a chemo treatment, being tough and hanging in there to get through Thanksgiving. Thankful, of course for my family and support, but looking back…I was sick, really sick. The chemo was just awful.
Right now I’m pretty healthy. I’m taking heart meds for the damage the chemo did to my heart, but for the most part, I am healthy. Knock on wood…I’ve fought off all the little bugs the little buggers have thrown my way…knock on wood…not even a bad cold. Knock on wood! I’m staying strong!
Prior to the scan, I can now say, I was freaking out. The stress was unbelievable. I did not realize that the stress was primarily from the anticipation of the scan and the results. I was putting all the blame for the stress on my job. Don’t get me wrong; my job is too much work and a lot of stress, but after the release and the good news following the scan…my job stress seems quite manageable. And that is just what I am doing, at least trying to do, managing my stress.
Last week, the 3 days prior to Thanksgiving, I met with the parent or parents of each of my 26 students. It was a good deal of work to prepare and be up for each and every one of them, but it is always good to sit and talk and so very informative. Now I have 3 weeks until the winter holiday break. I have some new programs to implement between now and then, but my goal is to make this job more manageable so I don’t damage myself anymore with unnecessary stress. Yikes! It’s really just not very good for you.
This coming Tuesday I have an appointment with Dr. Standish, my naturopath for my first infusion. Honestly, I can’t remember exactly what I am getting infused with! I know there is Vitamin C, but there is one other thing and I’m not sure what it is…I’ll let you know. What I know is that it should help me feel stronger/healthier and is supposed to help keep the cancer from recurring. I’m all for that!I’m going to try it at least 2-3 times and see how I feel. It’s not cheap and is not covered by insurance, but between now and the end of the year it is what we’ll spend our remaining flex plan money on, so it works out pretty well for us.
People ask me if I “knew” the cancer was gone or if I’d hoped for this much. I don’t think I had the audacity to hope for this much. There was just too much at stake. What a serious disappointment it would have been; that would have just been a trench too deep to fall into if I’d hope for a clean scan. There is a fine line, a tight balance I had to walk between hope and fear. I guess I still walk it, if I stop to think about it. But mostly we are celebrating and living with this good news!
I’m appreciating this less dramatic lifestyle. No highs and lows of chemo and bad colds, high anxiety and cancer. I continue to cry, sometimes daily for a variety of reasons; mostly relief and gratitude, but anxiety and fear creep in now and then.
Wish me luck as I work on what so many of us work on, balancing life and work and managing stress. It’s a lifelong battle, is it not? I wish us all luck in that department. Breathe in, Breathe out!

Happy Sunday

With Love Janet

Celebrations!
Blessings!
Miracles!
There was no cancer on my scan. No cancer.
The site of the ablation is still angry and inflamed (though my liver numbers were happier than they've been in a year...meaning less inflammation) and there is a "spot" a "mark" a "bit" adjacent to the ablation site, which may just be more ablation site but the scan reader guy can't really tell for sure.
So, the plan is a PET scan in January and until then I have to make my job manageable if I want to keep working full time.

Now with this weight and stress lifted I will get through parent conferences then make my job manageable.

Blessings out to you all. Thanks for your part of my healing!
love to you all
Janet

Hello all,

No news is good news and I’ve had no news, or more precisely no time for news.

Here is a bullet point blog update:

*work work work work… I am working way too many hours each week. It’s not humane or sane. I am not complaining (not right now, mind you…I do complain plenty often!) I’m just stating facts. I am working too many hours. After conferences (the week of Thanksgiving) things should chill a bit and I am going to make myself work fewer hours. I remember last year saying I missed complaining about my job...well I get to do that again!! I've been officially full time since October 12, though Hillary has filled in for me a few times since then for appointments and professional development days. 

*My students are tricky, this is NOT an easy group. They are adorable and make me laugh out loud, but this is not an easy group of 26 first graders. I am working my ass off every day to stay positive and try to keep them focused and learning.

*I saw Dr. Mignone, and things are about the same with my heart. Healing heart failure is a long slow slog, that is what I have learned.

*I do a good hard cardio workout every Saturday and Sunday and then try to get in one more during the week. Mike and I are going to yoga on Monday nights and I have pilates class on Thursday. This is my other job…staying healthy so I can be prepared for what comes my way!

*The kids are great, both enjoying their jobs at APL, working hard and loving their students. They both have second jobs to make ends meet. Michael has started the process of applying for a job as a fire fighter. Maggie has applied for graduate programs at UW, Vanderbilt and maybe other spots; Early Childhood Special Education. Hmmm, that sounds familiar! Oh, right, that is what I did!

*Mike’s school year started off just as busy as it ended in June…too many high needs kids in the school district and not enough special programs for them all. It is frustrating, but important work. He is downstairs right now working on his lathe which is what he LOVES to do.

*Tuesday night is the Stomach Cancer Awareness Fundraiser I mentioned before. Here is a link if you are interested and able to come join us:

http://evite.me/Y9wxKMY29v

if the link does not work, contact me and I’ll get you the information

*Thursday is my scan. My school district dropped my insurance company as an option so starting Nov. 1, so I am on a new plan. That is always a scary thing; I’m not positive about the coverage until they start covering things. So, I’m not 100% certain they will cover a PET scan at this point, which is what the doctor has ordered. I’ll find out sometime this week, but it just adds an extra dose of anxiety to a highly anxious event.

So that is where we are, how we are, this rainy, rainy weekend prior to my scan.

I look forward to seeing some of you on Tuesday night and I'll let you know what we find out after our scan. We should find out the results late Thursday afternoon. Sending my love to you all and asking for all your positive energy, prayers and white lights. 

Stay warm and cozy!

Love,

Janet

Good morning…

I’ve been a little busy, to say the least! So blogging has been put on the back burner, but here are some notable updates.

I’ve been going to cardio rehab at Cherry Hill 2 or 3 times a week and learning a good deal about how to gradually strengthen my heart muscle safely and systematically. I talked about this a couple of posts ago and mentioned Cara, she continues to be my guide through these lessons. I love going to cardio rehab. I’ve never liked to sweat (and I still don’t) but if I have to, it’s nice to have such positive support and ongoing feedback during the workout. At this point, Cara is focusing more on teaching me the information I need to know to do this work on my own. I’ll be heading back to school full time soon, and will not have the luxury of a fully supported workout…I have to make myself DO IT and follow the guidelines so I continue to improve my heart function. I’ve purchased a Polar heart rate monitor and that is a huge help. During my workout I can track my heart rate and then work to keep it at my target rate and then monitor it as it returns to a resting heart rate. Cara is asking me for my plan, how I plan to continue this on my own, and I’ve told her. But the thing is, these workouts, just like my heart meds, are not optional. I’ve never felt like I’ve had to “exercise,” everyone should…I should…but this is different. This is non-negotiable. I’ll be sweating, I’ll be working to rebuild my heart muscle.

So, speaking of going back to work full time. Mike and I went to visit Dr. Kaplan last Monday. He was absolutely thrilled with how I looked and my energy and my report to him. He was even more thrilled (or at least as thrilled!) with the treat we brought him; a 1/2 gallon of his favorite ice cream (Tillamook Mudslide) along with napkins, bowls and spoons and the best part;  an ice cream scoop with a wooden handle turned by Mike. He loved it! I told him a year ago I was in the hospital, now I’m back to work…he gets ice cream!

We talked about back to work and of course, under the best of circumstances this job is difficult, exhausting, stress inducing and at times ridiculous…so yes, I’m tired, I’m exhausted…but that’s the job. I still love it and want to go full time. I would never choose to teach young kids for only 1/2 time. It is more work for everyone, including them (in my opinion). Though it has been lovely to drive away 1/2 way through the day and head up to cardio rehab…it’s not what I can sustain. That is my classroom, and my kids and I need to be there…all in.

So last week was 1/2 day every day. Next week is 1/2 day just Monday and Friday (and I’ll do my last 2 cardio rehabs). The following week would be my first full week but I have an appointment with Dr. Standish in the afternoon and she is so difficult to get into see, that I just cannot change it. I have not seen her in months, since before Ireland! So the week after next, other than appointments, I’m fully back! 

I’m finding at the end of the day my brain is scrambled. I feel near panic if I try to problem solve something that has happened during the day right after school. I freak a bit, panic. But if I can go home, walk the pup, get some fresh air and a little time, I can think about the issue and see it and possible solutions clearly! Hopefully I’ll be able to problem solve any time of day, but at least now I see the pattern and have a strategy that works. It means I have to bring my work home, everyday, which I have not had to do the past few years, so that is a shift, but I’m willing and able to make that shift.

The other challenge is email. OMG why in the hell is it that EveryTime I Open the Computer There Are 25 More Emails Waiting For Me????????? Ok, that is my big complaint. Last October, I said I missed bitching about my job…see how much fun that was! I do love bitching about my job :)!

The week after next we see Dr. Mignone. I imagine there will be no big news…my heart is getting stronger…keep up the good work…it will take time for it to come back…it won’t ever come back 100%…but it will come back strong…keep working…keep taking the meds. I think that will be the short story, maybe some tweaks in the meds.

Then November 12 I have my scan. That is the mystery date. I have no idea what to expect; no idea. In my mind I’ll be going to a rodeo (that is a reading workshop teacher assessment inside joke)…In my mind the cancer could be GONE…none there…completely missing…that is the dream…but of course I have no idea. No sense in putting the other scenarios in writing, it’s not worth the energy to go there. So I try not to. 

I’m working to live these days fully. Fully engaged with these kiddos and my people and friends. We are all here now, and that is the important part.

Michael and Maggie are working hard at APL teaching and supporting kids who are highly impacted by their autism. It is  hard and emotionally/physically draining work, but they love it. Maggie works individually with kids after school and on the weekend to supplement her income (and because she loves the work). Michael is working on picking up a part time job, he has an on the job interview today.
Eva is settling into her new job. We all went out to dinner on Thursday to celebrate Eva’s birthday. I love having the kids in Seattle!

Mike is working hard in Renton, working with the teachers and the kids struggling with their emotions and their behaviors. He continues to be my rock and my hero. He is so supportive and having to do so many more things around here as I have to let things go. We started taking a yoga class on Monday evenings…that is nice.

I am taking baby steps back out into the world…dinner with friends…last week with the Sherwoods and the Blacks, last night with Betty and Mike and Gillian and Conor. Sometimes things feel normal. Sometimes I feel normal; I have hair, that helps. I feel like every cell in my body has shed the poison that was chemo (except maybe those brain cells that get scrambled by the end of the day). I’m at work everyday!

So, with that…I’ll sign off on this blog for a while. I may post if there are any major events/news in our family, but I plan to leave things be until mid November…when we face the big unknown…I’ll be sure to fill you in afterwards.

I just have to thank Kathy for all my immune support goodies you sent. And thank you Betty for soup in the freezer and friendship through all, and thanks Roz for all our lunches at Chaco Canyon and your love and support, and to Gaby and Charlene, my “stomach cancer” friends, and Lou for all your supportive emails full of love and best wishes….and you for reading my blog, sending our family love, prayers and support in so many different forms.

Enjoy the season…go eat an apple and pick a pumpkin and I’ll be back next month.

xoxoxoxxo

with love

Janet

PS We'll be heading to Canterbury at 534 15th Ave East, on Tuesday Nov, 10 at 6:30 for a quiz night fund raiser to raise money for Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center...November is Stomach Cancer Awareness Month...let me know if you'd like an official evite with more information.

Back to work…

As most of you know our union and the district came to a tentative agreement and we went back to work on Wednesday and had our first day of classes on Thursday. Today the members of the SEA are meeting to vote to accept or reject the tentative agreement. We had so much support from parents and others in Seattle that I cannot imagine we could pick up the same level of support if we reject the agreement. It’s not perfect, by a long shot, but we definitely got some wins. I’m still pulling my cancer/heart failure card to stay home from the assembly. In normal times I would get there early, bring snacks and be prepared for the long haul. I’m just not up for it these days, not with 26 6 and 7 year olds to look forward to in the morning.

So, school…phewsh! It’s not easy being a first grade teacher, though I do know how much easier it is than being a kindergarten teacher and I’m filled with gratitude that Jessica spent that year with these little ones. It was a busy and very full first 2 days. Officially I only work in the morning, but for the first 2 days, I stayed all day so Hillary and I could work as a team. I can’t say enough good about Hillary. She is very positive and upbeat. There were times I was flailing on Friday and she just propped me up so I could continue. I’m a little rusty! And she knew just what to say to keep my confidence up and keep me going. She is a master teacher that is clear. She’s “got it” and I am so grateful to know I can just leave half way through the day and the kids will be in such capable hands!

And we have Mary Cook as Ian’s 1:1 instructional assistant! Mary is there primarily to support Ian, but she cannot spend all her time with him as that would limit his opportunities for independence, so she is everywhere! Mary sees what needs to be done before I do at times. I am so grateful that she is in the Salmon Clan with us everyday. And how great for the all of us to have the consistency of Mary all day!

Crissy (our reading interventionist) has also been helping out a great deal with my class until she gets her schedule in place. She has been a huge support and always has a positive, upbeat attitude!

Normally I am alone with 26 kiddos. Most of the time those first 2 days there were 3 and sometimes 4 of us in the room. Thank you all! I definitely needed support to get through those first days!

It was a very emotional time for me, as you might imagine. I cried a few times Thursday morning as people came in to see me, finally I put my hand up and said they had to wait, I couldn’t cry anymore! I made it through the day! At one point one little guy said to me, “You had brain surgery.” Another chimed in immediately with, “No, you had cancer.” Followed immediately by another, “Cancer is not contagious.” I took 2 minutes or less to fill them in and then we moved on. On Friday I was asking the kids to draw a self portrait and was drawing an example on a piece of paper. When I came to my hair I gasped and said aloud, “Wow! Last time I did this I had long hair, oh well. I think I’ll use white and silver and yellow, I still like to think that I am blond!” And that was the end of that. So, I made it over some emotional hurdles.

My most emotional time was during recess and taking kids to buses on Thursday. I saw lots of my former students and they just shouted “Janet!” and their faces were so open and happy. I was getting hugs from all sides and realized my liver was finally feeling better (thank goodness!). 

After school Thursday I was out in front of the building and had to just let the tears flow as I saw so many of my families and another hug fest ensued! What a great feeling to be back. 

My heart is healing.

My liver feels better…only hurts when i press on a couple of spots.

My cancer is gone-ish, maybe.

I’m back to work, even if just 1/2 time for now…with 26 adorable first graders and a whole community who has welcomed me back with great joy and open arms.

I am so grateful!

I wish you hope, health and happiness.

with love,

Janet

PS As if it could get any better…kids are on their way over for Sunday night dinner and the Seahawks game…go Hawks!

Here is a picture Mike Delcamp took of me and Conor (second grader!) on the first day of school. I’m wearing my skirt from Senegal and a t-shirt a former student, Willa decorated for me with a ballerina and a poem.

Still on Strike

Greetings,  

Today is the fourth day members of the Seattle Education Association have been on strike. This is to my benefit, you know. It is giving me more time to take it easy, relax, build my stamina and strength and get better! I am doing that step by step, day by day. Initially I was very greedy wanting this strike as I knew it would benefit me. Now I have to let that go. There are too many people in the city struggling with childcare (though many great people and organizations have stepped up to help) and too many people who don’t make enough money in this organization and do not know when their next pay check will be or how much it will be. So, I can no longer hope for this strike to continue…I just have to put that out there into the world.

Last week I joined my fellow Pathfinder staff folk a little bit each day. I went up to school to walk the line for some time on Wednesday and Thursday. We have tons of parent support and the energy was good. On Friday the SEA directed us, in honor of 9/11 to do service projects instead of marching. My staff decided to clean up some of the public stairwells and streets that we use around our school neighborhood. There are 2 especially long stairwells from Delridge up to school that get used frequently for walking field trips or when we walk down to Delridge to catch the city bus. Staff cut back blackberry and other shrubberies and cleaned up trash along the way. I can take no direct credit for any of that work! Friday afternoon the teachers and families joined a “read-in” at Alki beach. That was awesome and something I was definitely up for…more my speed. We all sat around on the 80 degree afternoon reading to the kids and chatting with each other. It was a lovely sea of red t-shirts on the grass near the beach.

Because of the strike I was able to get a jump start on my cardio rehab. I had my first 2 appointments scheduled for this week. I was able to get them in on Thursday and Friday of last week. The first appointment was about an hour, with a nurse, going over lots of information and gathering up some medical information and data. The second one was with a personal trainer type, Cara. She took me through the paces of what will be my cardio workout class. Because I was able to get those completed last week I was able to start my class this morning. I went from 9:30-10:30 along with our old friend Jim Black! Small world!

First they take your weight and hook you up to a 3 point lead. Then you sit for a few minutes and they take a resting blood pressure. At that point you get to select from a wide variety of machines to do a warm up, to work out according to your own individual goals and then a cool down. This is followed by the entire group, (maybe 8 altogether) led by one of the staff, doing some work with hand held weights and then stretches. The whole bit lasts about a hour. While on the machines, Cara would check in with me asking about shortness of breath and exertion level. She would report to me my heart rate that is monitored in the back of the room because of the leads that I wear the whole time. It is a great program and I feel really fortunate to have this level of support to bring my heart back up to speed. I’ll be able to stay in the class as long as we are on strike or as long as I am 1/2 time. Once I’m back to work full time I’ll have to do this work on my own…yikes! I’m savoring this support and time to heal!

My liver is also healing. I can still feel stress, inflammation and pain in my liver, though it is definitely getting better. After the hospital I only took pain pills at night to help me sleep through the pain, I’ve been off those about a week now. So, it is definitely better. That procedure was 4 weeks ago today. I was warned there would be pain…but man! I did not think it would last this long! I look forward to the day I am not aware of my liver! Seems like a simple request!

This weekend Eva’s mom and dad, Betsy and Bob, were in town. I think I’ve only met them once before at Eva’s graduation. We had a great day together yesterday with breakfast followed by a thorough trip to the Locks (which suits me just fine…I love the Locks) and a stroll through the Ballard Sunday Market. If you are one of my out of town friends, next time you are here, we shall go to the Locks! You can goggle Hiram Chittenden Locks if you can’t wait for a visit to Seattle. And some time in Ballard has something for everyone, that is for sure! What a great neighborhood!

A few posts ago I mentioned a book about a woman with 2 young children who was battling breast cancer at the same time her dad was battling cancer. The book is The Middle Place by Kelly Corrigan. I enjoyed it quite a bit as I especially enjoy sad stories…books or movies…I always have.

There was a line from the author’s note that I wanted to share. She is talking about when her book was first published and she was driving up and down the East Coast selling her book and doing readings here and there. At the end of every reading, she says, people would pull her aside, share their own story and at times ask for advice…here is what she said:

If they asked for advice, I’d try to sell them on sharing the whole thing—the anxiety, the pain, the work—with people around them. Because that’s what made being very sick something I’m glad to have experienced. That lean-and-catch thing people do, that’s the good part, and you owe it to yourself to get the good part.

I’m crying just typing that up. And, I’m not sure I’m at a point where I can say I am glad to have experienced this, but, she is right, all of you who have caught us so many times in this last year…you are the good part and I thank you!

I am ready to go back to school tomorrow if that is in the cards and I’m certainly ready to march the line with my peers and hold out for a decent contract if that is what the future brings. I’m feeling stronger and healthier each day. 

I hope this post finds you well…

Love, light and laughter to you all

Janet

Here is a random picture of me and my little June-bug next door neighbor....they are in Austin for awhile and we are missing them! How cute is she? This was from our going away pizza party.

Labor Day Weekend

I’ve been going through the “one year ago” phase lately. Not checking back on the dates, exactly, but knowing that one year ago things were pretty sucky around here. I do believe it was one year ago this weekend that we put our little Rudy down. She had malignant melanoma. She was the absolute easiest dog we’ve ever had…not the sweetest or best…but easiest for sure. Now with our little Wilson, absolutely the most high maintenance dog we’ve had, we know just how easy and low maintenance little Rudy was. We miss you Rudy. You were a good girl.

One year ago I had been through maybe 3 chemo treatments by now…maybe just 2…I could fact check, but it doesn’t really matter. This was the time I started to get sick from the Xeloda. I went into the hospital early September last year, not to come out until three and a half weeks later, the first week of October. 

It’s been quite a year. I remember that time in the hospital thinking that the school buses are going back and forth every day, kids are coming and going and I’m not there. I’m one of those people who think my world just simply cannot operate without me…how can Pathfinder possibly still be standing…it defied my personal logic. So there was a lesson learned; life really does go on. 

Going back to school last week was overwhelming, to say the least. Wednesday was the first day we all met together as a staff. I walked in the room and had to go find a corner to get my shit together. I was overwhelmed and simply could not stop crying. There were so many people, just so many! Many whom I know and love and many others complete strangers. Then there were the people that weren't there any more! We have a huge staff as we have many kids with autism and other special needs in our building so we have a large staff of Instructional Assistants to help with the kids with special needs. Our school is K-8, so we have lots of teachers and support staff as well. Anyway, I think there might be 60-70 or so on staff…it’s a lot!

I finally got it together, and kept it that way for the most part. Our work was good, positive, energizing and as usual I’m so proud of the work we do as a staff to improve our school for the kids. As a whole, we are a thoughtful, heartfelt, hard-working group. New staff were quite impressed. I am happy to be back and to be a part of this group.

That night, my liver hurt more than it had for a while. I’m pretty sure it was from my emotional day and so much sitting all day. It was hard on my body. I had to just down all evening and work on breathing and relaxing.

Thursday we met again and did more heartfelt and thoughtful work as a staff. That night was the strike vote. I knew I could not go sit more and I knew it would take hours. Against my better self but protecting my physical self I went home instead of going downtown to vote. As it turned out, it was ok. A fairly unanimous SEA voted to strike. The district has not taken the negotiations seriously, they have not brought their best selves or intentions to the table in the negotiations since May, and now here we are ready to strike. Our strike does not officially start until Wednesday, Sept. 9, the first day kids are scheduled to attend school. So, the negotiating teams may come to an agreement this weekend and we’ll start on time. Or we may be striking. The strike would buy me some time to heal, so I’d be ok with that. I’ll also be ready to go to bat on the 9th, if there is an agreement reached.

Friday I went in for a bit and Mary Cook and Maria Callahan joined me to help put some finishing touches on the room. Mary, Maria and I all worked together years ago…back in the day when Michael and Maggie were at Pathfinder. We had a little reunion and a great time. Thank you both so much! It was great to catch up and to see you both!

I’ve had so much help getting the room ready! Thank you Mary and Maria, thank you Maggie, thank you Jenni and Emily and Angie, thank you Emma and there may be more who pitched in while I was in the hospital…I thank you, too! 

Enough about school…here is a little update on the kids.

Maggie is quite settled in her little house in Fremont. It is adorable and in such a great location. Her birthday was just 2 days ago, she turned 24!! How is that possible? We all went to a spot in Fremont for dinner and then back to her place for cake and ice cream. She and Eva and I’m sure a few more are spending lots of time this weekend at Bumbershoot.

Michael and Eva are settling into their apartment (formerly Jennifer’s apartment!), 4 blocks east of Maggie’s house. The troll is literally 1/2 way between their homes. (If you are not a Seattlite, google the Fremont Troll, this is their neighbor!) 

Eva just finished up her work in Portland, working from here, and has a new job in the Sodo neighborhood starting in a couple of weeks. Her parents will be up to visit next weekend for just a couple of days. I look forward to seeing them again.

Michael has had some time between jobs and has found Mike's lathe. He has taken to making bats and he does a great job! Oliver Bat Co. is a new and upcoming business and passion. Yesterday Michael rode his bike from Fremont to here to make a bat...he's got the bug. He and Mike can literally spend all day downstairs in the workshop...what lucky boys to have each other and to have found something they love to do together. 

Michael is almost ready to turn in his application to the Seattle Fire Department. It is due later this month. It is our understanding that they need to hire quite a few new recruits so we are hopeful that he’ll make the cut. However, we know it is very competitive and sometimes people have to apply 3 or 4 times before they are accepted. So, here he goes…try #1.

In the meantime Michael is working with Maggie at APL (Academy for Precision Learning). They are both working in the kindergarten/first grade classroom as 1:1 aides for kids who are highly impacted by their autism. The school is in the U district so they ride their bikes to work together 4 days a week (on Mondays Maggie has to drive as she works with one student at their home after school). Their school started last week, there are some bumps that are getting ironed out, but they love their kids and are full of stories just like they heard growing up. It warms my heart to hear them talk about their kids. 

Heart update…

Friday Mike and I went to see Dr. Mignone. I just can’t say enough good about that doctor. Like I’ve said before, he is a great teacher. He uses a white board and is very clear and easy to understand and he describes what is happening and what we want to have happen. The bottom line is things are going well. My meds are more stable, my BP and weight are more stable. I’ve only had to take one particular med, once (the day after Zippy’s) and not again and he said that was a good sign. He was happy with how things are going and said unless I have any problems I don’t need to see him for 6 weeks! Awesome! I will be starting cardio rehab the week after next, but if we are striking next week, I’m going to try and shift my appointments to start sooner. My heart will heal, I have no doubt about that.

Cancer update…

None really…I see Dr. Kaplan next week, and I think we’ll probably schedule a scan for November. I hope my liver pain goes away, like today…but that ablation really pissed my liver off, big time. We’ll see what the good Doctor has to say. In the meantime, I’m walking the fine line of living as if I have no cancer and making sure that come time for a scan I’m not blindsided if there is cancer. It is a balancing act…but for now, there is no reason to believe cancer will win. I have every reason to believe that I will.

I can’t believe I’m going to try and tell you a dream I had the other night… I’ll try to be concise…

I was in some kind of neighborhood where they had simply cut away the land and we (me and one person…a stranger) were walking along what was like a cliff. It was a sheer drop, maybe like 2-3 stories high with hard dirt sides and hard dirt at the bottom. 

I fell and just caught myself by the fingertips. I was screaming for this person to help me and then realized they had pushed me on purpose. They were trying to kill me. I looked down and knew I wouldn’t die. I yelled to them, “I’m just going to break my ankles, I’m not going to die!” I wanted them to know that I was going to live and then come after them. 

I woke up and knew immediately that the stranger was cancer. It was just going to break my ankles, not kill me.

Now that dream doesn’t really mean anything, but it makes me feel empowered. And for now, I’ll take that.

Hope you are all having a little fun, a little relaxation, or what ever it is you need this Labor Day Weekend.

I’ll keep you posted on the strike.

Love to you all, 

Janet

Happy Birthday Maggie!

How about a few photos from one of the most amazing parts of our Ireland trip, to Turbot Island just off the West Coast near Clifden. This is the Island where Granny and Grandad (Kay and Ed) have a cottage. They lease some of their land to a cattle farmer for their cattle to graze. No one lives full time on the island. There is no way to the island except by private boat. We spent one night here with Kay and Ed, Eamonn and the kids. It was a unique and very Irish experience...so beautiful!

Recovering

That is what I am doing…recovering.

Friday I went into school to do just a few things, going to take it easy. I stood in David’s office and felt lightheaded and needed to sit down. I recovered, went down to my classroom and felt the same way off and on. I did not feel great, did not feel like myself. I felt faint of heart. I felt super spacey and unable to focus. I could really only be good for the most mundane tasks.

I finally called Mike and then my heart doctor, Dr. Mignone. They made an appointment for 2:30 that afternoon. This is not how I want to spend my life, coming and going constantly from the doc. Thursday the oncologist, Friday, the cardiologist…whose life is this??? And I feel terrible dragging Mike through it all, I’m such a wimp about driving and really did not trust myself to drive myself up to Cherry HIll.

As it turns out, it was a good thing, of course. I was “dried out”, a little dehydrated. They had me walk 6 minutes back and forth in the hall, which I could do. I got a little extra light headed 2 minutes in, but maintained from that point. Dr. Mignone pulled in a portable ultrasound machine and we got to watch my heart. He said it actually looked stronger already (woo! hoo!) but saw the spot that showed a bit of dehydration. I got to see my liver (that thing is bloody hell huge!) and apologized profusely to it for all I had done to it, all the cancer had done to it and it’s most recent abuse by ablation. It forgave me and we came to an agreement to work together from now on.file:///Users/janetosborn/Downloads/IMG_4172.JPG Dr. Mignone asked, “Do you have a favorite salty treat?” Oh, my….how does one decide? But, “Yes!” is the only answer to that question. Then he took my note book that we have been keeping since late June of last year and added notes to one page. He wrote out the upsides and downsides of each of my heart prescriptions. Two of my prescriptions will now depend on what my weight and blood pressure show each day. I feel like I understand the meds better and what I want from them, and how to regulate them myself. He is an excellent teacher and a fabulous doctor. I think I won the doctor lottery somewhere along the way.

We left and headed to Zippy’s…I was ravenous…for our salty treat! Yum…burger and fries. There was a chance I overdid my salt date, but the scale in the morning showed just what he had wanted it to show…so all is well and it was extremely satisfying.

We got ready as fast as we could and headed out into the sea of Friday night traffic and went to Keffrey and Janelle’s wedding in Tacoma. What a lovely evening and the escape from “sick land” that I needed. And Jennifer Annable took this  picture of us that many of you have already seen on FB…..but just in case. You can see my hair is growing! No chemo since June 9!

We wanted a quiet weekend but ended up quite busy. We bought a gently used 2015 red Toyota Prius Saturday morning. No matter how much you already know what you want and you think you’ll be in and out of there in no time, I think that took 4 hours. But that deed is done. I have a car that will stay dry and get me up to cardio rehab 3 days a week and take me really anywhere I want to go.

Saturday night we got to babysit our little June bug from next door. She will be 2 in October and she is as sweet, cute and smart as they come. She completely entertained us for the evening! Thanks Lizzie and Vince for sharing her with us.

Sunday night the kids, Maggie, Michael and Eva came over and we had pizza with Lizzie, Vince and June, and Lizzie’s grandma; Liz. This was our goodbye for a while pizza dinner with them. They are headed down to Austin for 2-4 months so Vince can help finish up the Austin Bouldering Company’s gym. I’m so happy for Lizzie and June that they get to go, too! We’ll miss you so Lizzie, Vince and June!!!

Jenni Haynes found a sub for me! Hillary, whose husband has worked with Mike in Renton these past few years, is a friend of Jenni, has little kids at home and is just heading back in the classroom and only wants to sub part time and I’ve already met her at one of our pizza parties and she’s great…what more could I ask for! Thank you Jenni for thinking of Hillary and thank you Hillary for taking this on! I am so grateful!

Today is Monday. I’m going to head into school today and get a few more things done. Hopefully today I can do more than just put stuff away! Tomorrow is our official first day with staff and kids don’t come until next Wednesday. I have one week to build up my muster!

Thank you all for your love, support, best wishes and more through this most recent bump in the road. I am optimistic and feeling good.

Have a great week!

With love,

Janet

And since I never got to finish adding my pics from Ireland I'll just add a few from the end of our trip now and then... A few from Dublin...

This post is most definitely overdue, but everyday things change and I can hardly keep up with my self.

We really thought I’d get to go home on Saturday but when I woke in the hospital in the morning the registered nurse practitioner for Dr. Mignone gave me the news that during the night I had a run of ventricular tachycardia. Who knew? This is not a good thing. It raises many eyebrows of the poor folks who stay up all night and watch all our heart monitors…this was a highlight of their night! But for me it meant more monitoring and since it was Saturday it was 3 days of watch and wait. What it could mean in the future is an implanted defibrillator.

During those three days they messed with my meds quite a bit. I was weighed and blood pressured and had blood drawn repeatedly. I got potassium and magnesium to balance out my electrolytes. But mostly I sat around and visited with family and friends, watched Mad Men and read my good book (a memoir of a woman with 2 little kids who gets diagnosed with breast cancer….you can always find a sadder story to make you feel better).

To make matters more complex, my sister and 2 of her daughters, Amy and Lucy have implanted defibrillators. They have had them for years. Years ago a heart specialist spied Amy’s 12 lead heart read out and got very excited in a heart doctor kind of way. She was tested further and diagnosed with Brugada’s syndrome, very rare. Kathy and Lucy were also tested and diagnosed positive. I was tested and they said I was fine. Jamie and Jennifer, Kathy’s other two kids were also cleared. But the saddest fact is that they had already lost their brother Andy, years before that to a sudden death. Andy had many contributing factors, issues, challenges and we’ll never know what really happened. Recently, they have pulled back on the Brugada label and they are not sure what is going on. The doctors say they have "something"…but what? They are not sure. Both Kathy and Amy have been shocked and their lives saved by the device. And Andy makes the case pretty strong that there is something going on. But what about me? I don’t think mine has anything to do with it. The doctors in Colorado, where they live, are actively pursuing a definitive diagnosis. All of that information will help my doctors figure out what is going on with me.

OK, back at the hospital I finally had a cardio MRI at 8:00 Monday night. Wow! That was quite a medical test! But the good news is it showed my heart has NO SCAR TISSUE!!!! That is the best news! That means it can heal a good deal. It also showed my ejection fraction had not changed at all or much from the measurement they told with the echocardiogram in July…a 35% ejection fraction which is low but not scary low. I can build it back up (ejection fraction has something to do with the level of power in your heart squeeze 65-70% is the highest…I think).

Tuesday morning Dr. Mignone came in with his group of residents and nurse practitioners and gave me the stamp of approval. He let me go! They will still talk about an implant or there is a cute vest I could wear for 3 months that would warn me, “you are about to be shocked” and if you hear that, you can turn it off, but if you are flat out of it, you’ll get shocked back to life. I don’t mean to make light of it, but honestly, I don’t think I need either device (but I didn’t think I had cancer either).

So by Tuesday afternoon, after getting monitored a bit longer, getting my marching papers and my prescriptions, getting my port unplugged, Betty fetched me after 6 nights in the hospital! Crazy! Michael says it was a blessing in disguise as it made me take it easy to recover from my liver ablation. I think he if right, there is no way I would have stayed down that long at home.

Today I saw Dr. Kaplan. He says at this point, all tests point to the strong possibility that right now I don’t have cancer. That doesn’t mean it won't come back, it doesn’t mean there might be some pieces of cancer shit hiding in my body…but I’ll take it! Right now I might not have cancer!

He also listened to my heart and lungs and said I was gonna heal again! My blood work showed that my red blood cells are higher than normal for me (watch out first graders!).

Speaking of first graders. I have to start the year slow. I'll be half time for at least 2-3 weeks and hopefully building up quickly from that point in time. I'm hoping to work every morning so the kids have some structure and predictability. The challenge will be to find someone else willing to sub part time for a few weeks or so. Any teacher friends in Seattle know anyone who wants to sub part time at an awesome school with amazing people...send them to me. Thanks to Maggie, Jenni, and Emma, Emily, and Angie for helping put the finishing touches on the classroom. I think I'll be able to walk in and get started!

So there you are… news from the rocky road to recovery.

We went shopping for a gently used red prius today…gonna get one this weekend. The ’87 Camry is a sweet ride, it just does not dry out all winter long. I have to clear the inside of the windows with a squeegee and the rear window just stays fogged. That’s how I’m celebrating for now. A little weak and sore still from the heart stuff and the surgery to go out and kick up my heels…but that is on the list!

There is no way to thank you all for the love and support I've felt from all of you over these past 14 months. I never counted on having even one day to say "I might be cancer free, today." You all have helped me get here.

always with love, strength, peace and light

Janet