Chemo Week…yuk…

It’s been nearly a week since I had my infusion and everyday I feel a little more normal, a little more OK, but underneath there is this weird buzz, a weird feeling throughout my system. I suppose it must be the chemo coursing through my body. I feel weak and weary and shaky. The cold reaction has mostly worn off now, that is a relief, but definitely need to get my stamina up. I have an appetite, and eat small meals throughout the day. I continue on a pretty limited diet. This week I added some gluten free oatmeal to my list of fiber and 1/2 of an unpeeled fresh apple…pretty exciting food life we’re living here!!

After chemo they gave me a shot to boost my white blood cells. It causes pain in the big bones as the white blood cells push out through the bone marrow (at least that is how I understand it). She warned me it would feel achy, like when you get the flu, as that is just what your white cells are doing when they start fighting the flu.  It made for some uncomfortable days and lost sleep, but who can argue with a few extra white blood cells at this point in the game! 

I’m doing ok, in fact I’m doing ok enough to feel very impatient (that is my nice word for pissed off) about this whole thing. I’m so ready for cancer to be over and I just have no idea how long it will take. I’ll take it as a good sign that I’m well enough to feel this way.

Thursday I went to a support group at the hospital; a living with cancer support group. Not so sure I’m going to be able to go back. I don’t think I’ve lived long enough with cancer to run with that group. Some have been living with cancer 5 years, 8 years, 12 years…They have such a mixed bag of issues; physical, personal, financial. It was a little overwhelming and quite depressing. I left counting all of my blessings, among them everyone of you reading this blog. I might need a ‘newly’ living with cancer support group…this one was just too intense, like tough love.

I have a whole 2 weeks to feel a little better each day until my next infusion. Feeling as I do now I am quite confident that it was the daily oral zeloda that kicked me so hard and sent me to the hospital. I’m not having nearly the kinds of reactions I had after that last round of infusion and all those weeks of zeloda. That is a relief…to feel better, but it’s a little scary to think that maybe it was the zeloda that was also killing most of the cancer. It’s a waiting game now. 

I’m so grateful to feel as good as I do though, and to get this bonus summer day this late in October! Mike and I spent a good hour planted on a bench at  Alki watching all the people and boats go by. Beautiful day, glad I was well enough to spend some of it outside.

Thank you to my visitors, my regular flower delivery folk, my food train, my friends…thank you to you all! I hope you were able to enjoy this beautiful day!

Lots of Love 

Janet