The Full Moon and a Toughy Girl

The worst side effect for me so far is new this time round. When I start to cry my eyes hurt, they ache, cramp up and I have to stop crying…now that IS a rip off for a cry-lovin’ gal like me. But all in all I’m doing well. I have the same cold sensitivity in my feet and hands. The first bite of anything sends shock waves through my jaw, but then it relaxes (hey…maybe I just have to keep crying and all that will relax…hmm…see this is one of the pay offs of writing…it helps you think things through and come up with connections/solutions…maybe???).

I woke at 4 and could not get back to sleep (I think I’m done with the melatonin, at least for a while. I think I do better without it). So I got up about 6, put on my kitchen/garden gloves and putzed around this morning.

First…ant patrol. If you live in Seattle I need say no more. They are little, they are black, they are persistent. They are camouflaged on our new black granite counter top! We are mostly staying on top of the little buggers, but it is a part of our daily routine, many days starting in spring. Then I just finished tidying up. Now I’m drinking magic mineral broth and blogging.

I’m feeling pretty tough to be this ok after all the infusion yesterday. I’m reminded of a kid story from years ago, one of my favorite quotes…I had a sweet little girl (can’t remember exactly who) and Daniel P…many of you know of whom I speak. I love Daniel. He was like a lab puppy in Kindergarten. (I watched him wrestle in high school and he was still  a little like a lab puppy!)  As a 5 year old he just wanted to wrestle and play. All from a place of fun and love! But to many it came off otherwise. I remember one day this little girl overheard someone tattling on Daniel and under her breath, to no one in particular, but I heard her say in a matter of fact way with a little disdain, “That Daniel, he’s a toughy boy.” It cracked me up and gave me a new category of people. And holding myself up through this I think of that story and I think I’m a bit of a toughy girl!  Daniel-you are my model!

Yesterday went well. Maggie opted out as she is fighting off a cold and the chemo room is no place for extra germs. Mike and I started with the blood draw through the port. I was a virgin, I’d had no needles through this skin before. And I had a student nurse (with a very capable teacher right there) who was also a virgin. She had never stuck a needle in skin, into a port, though she had practiced in some manner. We had lots of jokes about being virgins then our mixed feelings after the fact. Well, she must have done it correctly because all went well; they were able to draw blood and then the infusion went well shortly after that.

Prior to chemo Mike and I visited Dr. Kaplan. He is a good doctor and I like his way. He has a dry sense of humor and is absolutely not afraid to state his opinions in a straight forward way. We talked about Bastyr and he has worked with Dr. Standish many times. He answered all our questions and we made a plan for 3 weeks from now. He read my blood test results and reported good white blood count, all is well, then he sent us on our way to chemo.

Mike and I got a private room and a lovely nurse. She got the first bags going (anti-nausea and steroids) and then Mike headed to Jimmy Johns for his lunch (an un-wich; turkey sandwich wrapped in lettuce instead of bread…so healthy!). When he got back I unwrapped my sandwich from home: irish cheddar, tomato and avocado. Yum! Then I really wanted to read and Mike watched a sci-fi movie on the iPad with headphones. It was very relaxing and quiet in our little room. When we got chilly Mike would refill my hot tea and the nurse brought us heated blankets.

There is one part of chemo where the nurse sits next to me and literally pushes one of the drugs into the tube with a big syringe. It takes 15 minutes. We had a nice chat. Her kids are just a little older than ours, she lived a good deal of time in Tennessee (I went to school in Nashville), so we had plenty to talk about. Mike watched his movie and let us babble on.

The final chemo bag is a 2 hour drip followed by a 10-15 rinse of the tubes so I’m sure to get every last drop (sluuuurrrrppppp!). I didn’t so much see the little mucinex guys yesterday (thank goodness) but what I thought about was how the cancer spread through my blood stream to my liver. So, I was sending the chemo drugs to find those same pathways and find those cells and take care of the problem! I’m very hopeful!

We headed home about 4 where Maggie was waiting with open arms to wait on me and meet my every need. Betty came up to visit last night and we watched a Jimmy Fallon that had us all in tears (ouch! I couldn’t cry).

I realized I’d forgotten to ask Dr. Kaplan whether or not to take the oral chemo with dinner tonight so I called him. He called me back and said it was up to me. I asked, what would you do? He said, “Well, how close are we to the full moon?” I took the bait and excitedly said, “Close! It was just the other day!” He said” Then you should take them.” “You got me!” and we laughed and I took the pills! What a hoot!

I’m still healthy. I’m still strong. I have to think it is not getting the better of me so maybe we’re getting the better of it!

Thank you to every one of you for your sweet comments on the blog, or email, text or snail mail. I promised myself I would not reply to the blog comments because I am the type of person who would then feel obligated to reply to all comments. So know I read them, however they roll in and I appreciate all your kindnesses! I am so blessed with such a great community near and far.

For those of you who have offered to help out with food or in other ways, Gillian and I are getting together this week to make a plan. She has agreed to be my gate keeper. The last week of August, Mike and Maggie head back to work/school land and help here will be appreciated. I'll let you know the plan as soon as we make it!

Not sure how soon I’ll be brave enough to head into West Seattle with a shaved head and a hat, but probably sooner than I think…cause I’m a toughy girl.

Love to you all

Janet

PS here is the link to Mike's Etsy site as promised, just 4 bowls up so far...more to come

https://www.etsy.com/shop/MikesBowls