Gumption and Love and The Beat Goes On
It has taken me a good amount of gumption to get out of the house these days. I like to think of myself as brave and self-confident but it has taken a good deal to boost me up to meet those characteristics. I’m a homebody anyway, but with no hair, I find myself really wanting to just hunker down here.
But, out I’ve gone… Lovely Kathy invited me to the beach for a very small gathering for dinner a couple days ago. I almost didn’t go. I almost backed out at the last minute. But I made myself do it (hats of course) and was so glad I did. It was lovely and just the first step I needed. I actually went without my driver or any of my escorts! Independently!
I do find myself trying to be prepared. I keep my eyes up and keep looking so I see you first before you see me…so I can be ready and not taken off guard. Yesterday Mike and I made 3 stops in the Junction and then had a picnic at Alki. In shops as soon as we turned a corner I scanned high and low (I do know lots of wee folk in West Seattle, I’m an expert at scanning low) and then breathed a sigh of relief. We made it through the day without seeing anyone we knew. That rarely happens in West Seattle.
Last night Mike and I went to Humble Pie for dinner. I thought I could manage there as you eat at picnic tables outside (sitting in a restaurant for some reason seems daunting). It was busy, busy but I did ok. I think I’m going to be able to stop making such a big deal in my head. Cause that’s what I’m learning…It’s all in my head. And Lucy, you are right, no one cares. And for goodness sakes, what’s going to happen when I do see someone I know…probably the same as ever…a nice big hug! I’m getting there…baby steps.
So picnic at Alki, then out for dinner…what’s up with all that? Well, yesterday Mike and I celebrated our 26th anniversary! Happy Anniversary, sweetie. He is a good man. All of you know that already and he didn’t need a test to prove it, but he has proven it this summer time and again. We are blessed.
The world did not stop spinning and Pathfinder has not locked it’s doors. School is happening without me. Today is day 4 of Jumpstart and from all reports Jessica is doing great! I’m so fortunate that she and Maggie are renewing their friendship as I know I’m hearing a little more than I might otherwise. The best indicator to me is that Jessica is enjoying the kids, and enjoying the work. The stories she is sharing with us are cute and funny. If you don’t get a big, fat kick out of 5 year olds you have no business spending that much of their day with them. They are hilarious and Jessica gets them. I can tell. That makes me so happy!
Maggie started her job yesterday. She is a teaching assistant at APL (Academy for Precision Learning). APL is a private school primarily for kids with Autism, our friend Jennifer is the director of the school. This school has what I call a reverse mainstreaming model. Most kids in each class have special needs but there are also kids who are typically developing. Maggie will be a para-pro (teaching assistant) in the K/1 classroom. It is a fabulous program with lots and lots of staff. Maggie is one of 6 paras in her classroom along with a head teacher, an assistant teacher and an ABA (applied behavior analysis) specialist (I think I have all that correct?). The school has classrooms for kids K-12th grade. It is in the U district and Maggie will be commuting by bus. A whole new world! It’s like she grew up and got a real job! Crazy!
So the world keeps spinning. No one cares if you have hair or not. Kids grow up and as my mom would say…”the beat goes on!”
The world did not stop spinning and Pathfinder has not locked it’s doors. School is happening without me. Today is day 4 of Jumpstart and from all reports Jessica is doing great! I’m so fortunate that she and Maggie are renewing their friendship as I know I’m hearing a little more than I might otherwise. The best indicator to me is that Jessica is enjoying the kids, and enjoying the work. The stories she is sharing with us are cute and funny. If you don’t get a big, fat kick out of 5 year olds you have no business spending that much of their day with them. They are hilarious and Jessica gets them. I can tell. That makes me so happy!
Blessings and love to you all.
Congrats to Maggie on her job. You know that Adam, also, commutes that direction EVERY day once school begins so if they decide to grab a car once in a while and carpool, they ought to be in touch. Don't know what time M begins but RHS begins each day at 8. I, for one, have a dentist appointment in early September and will be driving A to school so happy to pick up M, too. Because you have nothing to do except fight fucking cancer, pass this on to her. Speaking of cancer, glad to hear you are going out "byself." Here's the thing about you not having hair -- other than the fact that you don't have hair, you're your same beautiful, regular, awesome self so we love you whether you stay in or go out but we prefer seeing you on the streets of West Seattle. Maybe we ought to do a reality show called The Streets of West Seattle and you could partner with the West Seattle Blog and go out and record how people react to you. Oh, wait. It would be cancelled because it would get really boring because people would recognize you then hug you then talk with you then go about their business. So UNdramatic. But, if you caused a little mischief -- say you robbed a bank or set off fireworks at the Alaska Junction or maybe brought a dog over the line at the WS Farmer's Market .... now that would be different. That would be the beginning of some really good programming.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was first diagnosed with cancer, I had this image of my whole life in reverse telescope mode, closing in, getting smaller and smaller. But, as you have found, so many people reached out that I had to draw the circles bigger and bigger. You are not shutting down or shutting in. Go out, explore, buy things that you need because you will be living a long time and yes, you do need a new pair of shoes. Remember, at our age no one gives a crap what we look like. Be strong.
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