Happy New Year

I hope this year is already proving to be one of love and strength, peace and courage. 

I’ve realized my bucket list is more about “filling my bucket” than crossing things off a list. And nothing “fills my bucket” like spending time with my family and friends. There is nothing I would rather do and no where I would rather be than anywhere with Mike and the kids. We had many great moments over Christmas. Sometimes it was just the four of us and sometimes we were with family and friends (46 in all on Christmas Eve!!). I feel filled up with the love of my family and the time we spent together; what a gift and a treasure.

Last year I had tried to eliminate “stuff” under the tree and plan an event for us instead. We went to dinner at a tapas bar, went to see The Book Of Mormon and had a wonderful night! But, when Christmas morning arrived it was a little sad not to have more than one or two things to open. This year I planned another event before I remembered that we also had to have “stuff” to open. So we had an event AND stuff…not a lot of stuff…but stuff. Our event was last Wednesday afternoon. The six of us (me and Mike, Maggie, Michael, Eva and Betty) went to Seattle Mosaic Arts in Wallingford and each worked on a wedge of what will become a 16” diameter  outdoor table. It was fun to discuss and debate a theme and in the end, we each divided our wedge in half, like 2 pieces of pizza and used two different color themes for our pieces. We spent about 3 hours total at the mosaic studio, getting a lesson, making decisions and then diving in to the project. We then headed next door to Bizarro, a fabulous Italian restaurant for a fantastic meal. I have to say it was a great evening! Event night year 2 was a success! 

Betty surprised us at Christmas with a trip to Kalaloch for the New Year. We spent the last 2 days of 2016 and greeted the New Year at one of our favorite spots on the Washington coast. She had the kids in on the plan for 2 nights in a cabin with a woodstove, a kitchenette and room for 6 of us and the 2 dogs to sleep. We arrived in time to take a walk on the beach under a blue sky and watch a beautiful sunset. That first night the kids opted to head to the campsite and pitch a tent. On New Year’s Eve Gillian, Mike and Conor joined us and stayed in a room down the way. We had a great party New Year’s Eve with yummy soup and quesadillas, s’mores with marshmallows roasted in the wood stove, hot whiskey, games and puzzles and then a toast to the new year. That evening there was a big storm and the kids headed to the camp ground, took down their tent in a hail storm and cozied up in the cabin with us. New Year’s morning we had a fabulous breakfast in the lodge and then headed down the icy roads for home. What a great way to welcome the New Year, Thanks Betty!!

The bottom line, we’ve had lots of family time together. I really could not ask for more.

Well, ok, I’m gonna ask for more…now I’m going to ask for a good scan on Thursday. As far as I can tell everything inside of me is a-okay. But I would have said the same thing in June of 2014, the day before our world changed. Cancer is super sneaky that way. I expect good news, but there is a place in me that has to be ready for a different possibility. 

I’ve kept the anxiety at bay, for the most part, but it has seeped in through the cracks when I wasn’t looking. On more than one occasion I realized I was nauseous, and then identified it as anxiety. I’ve had some weird physical symptoms that I can’t really pinpoint and I have a feeling anxiety has something to do with those, too. I have a couple of Tara Brach podcasts that I’ve listened to more than once that really help me identify and manage those strong feelings. I’ve written about anxiety in the past, but I’ll repeat here, it is a beast. I plan to spend the better part of today and tomorrow balancing somewhere between keeping busy with things that need to get done and allowing myself to face the beast and curl up and cry just a little. This cold snap we are having suits me just fine! Time to hibernate, stay warm and take care of myself.

I hope you all do the same. 

Take care of yourselves.

Happy New Year
Love
Janet 

I can't resist posting some snapshots of our last two weeks...you can see why I'm so filled up!