This post is most definitely overdue, but everyday things change and I can hardly keep up with my self.

We really thought I’d get to go home on Saturday but when I woke in the hospital in the morning the registered nurse practitioner for Dr. Mignone gave me the news that during the night I had a run of ventricular tachycardia. Who knew? This is not a good thing. It raises many eyebrows of the poor folks who stay up all night and watch all our heart monitors…this was a highlight of their night! But for me it meant more monitoring and since it was Saturday it was 3 days of watch and wait. What it could mean in the future is an implanted defibrillator.

During those three days they messed with my meds quite a bit. I was weighed and blood pressured and had blood drawn repeatedly. I got potassium and magnesium to balance out my electrolytes. But mostly I sat around and visited with family and friends, watched Mad Men and read my good book (a memoir of a woman with 2 little kids who gets diagnosed with breast cancer….you can always find a sadder story to make you feel better).

To make matters more complex, my sister and 2 of her daughters, Amy and Lucy have implanted defibrillators. They have had them for years. Years ago a heart specialist spied Amy’s 12 lead heart read out and got very excited in a heart doctor kind of way. She was tested further and diagnosed with Brugada’s syndrome, very rare. Kathy and Lucy were also tested and diagnosed positive. I was tested and they said I was fine. Jamie and Jennifer, Kathy’s other two kids were also cleared. But the saddest fact is that they had already lost their brother Andy, years before that to a sudden death. Andy had many contributing factors, issues, challenges and we’ll never know what really happened. Recently, they have pulled back on the Brugada label and they are not sure what is going on. The doctors say they have "something"…but what? They are not sure. Both Kathy and Amy have been shocked and their lives saved by the device. And Andy makes the case pretty strong that there is something going on. But what about me? I don’t think mine has anything to do with it. The doctors in Colorado, where they live, are actively pursuing a definitive diagnosis. All of that information will help my doctors figure out what is going on with me.

OK, back at the hospital I finally had a cardio MRI at 8:00 Monday night. Wow! That was quite a medical test! But the good news is it showed my heart has NO SCAR TISSUE!!!! That is the best news! That means it can heal a good deal. It also showed my ejection fraction had not changed at all or much from the measurement they told with the echocardiogram in July…a 35% ejection fraction which is low but not scary low. I can build it back up (ejection fraction has something to do with the level of power in your heart squeeze 65-70% is the highest…I think).

Tuesday morning Dr. Mignone came in with his group of residents and nurse practitioners and gave me the stamp of approval. He let me go! They will still talk about an implant or there is a cute vest I could wear for 3 months that would warn me, “you are about to be shocked” and if you hear that, you can turn it off, but if you are flat out of it, you’ll get shocked back to life. I don’t mean to make light of it, but honestly, I don’t think I need either device (but I didn’t think I had cancer either).

So by Tuesday afternoon, after getting monitored a bit longer, getting my marching papers and my prescriptions, getting my port unplugged, Betty fetched me after 6 nights in the hospital! Crazy! Michael says it was a blessing in disguise as it made me take it easy to recover from my liver ablation. I think he if right, there is no way I would have stayed down that long at home.

Today I saw Dr. Kaplan. He says at this point, all tests point to the strong possibility that right now I don’t have cancer. That doesn’t mean it won't come back, it doesn’t mean there might be some pieces of cancer shit hiding in my body…but I’ll take it! Right now I might not have cancer!

He also listened to my heart and lungs and said I was gonna heal again! My blood work showed that my red blood cells are higher than normal for me (watch out first graders!).

Speaking of first graders. I have to start the year slow. I'll be half time for at least 2-3 weeks and hopefully building up quickly from that point in time. I'm hoping to work every morning so the kids have some structure and predictability. The challenge will be to find someone else willing to sub part time for a few weeks or so. Any teacher friends in Seattle know anyone who wants to sub part time at an awesome school with amazing people...send them to me. Thanks to Maggie, Jenni, and Emma, Emily, and Angie for helping put the finishing touches on the classroom. I think I'll be able to walk in and get started!

So there you are… news from the rocky road to recovery.

We went shopping for a gently used red prius today…gonna get one this weekend. The ’87 Camry is a sweet ride, it just does not dry out all winter long. I have to clear the inside of the windows with a squeegee and the rear window just stays fogged. That’s how I’m celebrating for now. A little weak and sore still from the heart stuff and the surgery to go out and kick up my heels…but that is on the list!

There is no way to thank you all for the love and support I've felt from all of you over these past 14 months. I never counted on having even one day to say "I might be cancer free, today." You all have helped me get here.

always with love, strength, peace and light

Janet