Happy Thanksgiving 

I hope you are all having a great holiday weekend spent just the way you’d like. I’m taking some down time. I’ve relaxed more this weekend than I have in months, and it feels great!
We had our traditional Thanksgiving feast on Vashon Island this year, but it felt unlike any other Thanksgiving in my life. Last year, just one year ago, I was recovering from a chemo treatment, being tough and hanging in there to get through Thanksgiving. Thankful, of course for my family and support, but looking back…I was sick, really sick. The chemo was just awful.
Right now I’m pretty healthy. I’m taking heart meds for the damage the chemo did to my heart, but for the most part, I am healthy. Knock on wood…I’ve fought off all the little bugs the little buggers have thrown my way…knock on wood…not even a bad cold. Knock on wood! I’m staying strong!
Prior to the scan, I can now say, I was freaking out. The stress was unbelievable. I did not realize that the stress was primarily from the anticipation of the scan and the results. I was putting all the blame for the stress on my job. Don’t get me wrong; my job is too much work and a lot of stress, but after the release and the good news following the scan…my job stress seems quite manageable. And that is just what I am doing, at least trying to do, managing my stress.
Last week, the 3 days prior to Thanksgiving, I met with the parent or parents of each of my 26 students. It was a good deal of work to prepare and be up for each and every one of them, but it is always good to sit and talk and so very informative. Now I have 3 weeks until the winter holiday break. I have some new programs to implement between now and then, but my goal is to make this job more manageable so I don’t damage myself anymore with unnecessary stress. Yikes! It’s really just not very good for you.
This coming Tuesday I have an appointment with Dr. Standish, my naturopath for my first infusion. Honestly, I can’t remember exactly what I am getting infused with! I know there is Vitamin C, but there is one other thing and I’m not sure what it is…I’ll let you know. What I know is that it should help me feel stronger/healthier and is supposed to help keep the cancer from recurring. I’m all for that!I’m going to try it at least 2-3 times and see how I feel. It’s not cheap and is not covered by insurance, but between now and the end of the year it is what we’ll spend our remaining flex plan money on, so it works out pretty well for us.
People ask me if I “knew” the cancer was gone or if I’d hoped for this much. I don’t think I had the audacity to hope for this much. There was just too much at stake. What a serious disappointment it would have been; that would have just been a trench too deep to fall into if I’d hope for a clean scan. There is a fine line, a tight balance I had to walk between hope and fear. I guess I still walk it, if I stop to think about it. But mostly we are celebrating and living with this good news!
I’m appreciating this less dramatic lifestyle. No highs and lows of chemo and bad colds, high anxiety and cancer. I continue to cry, sometimes daily for a variety of reasons; mostly relief and gratitude, but anxiety and fear creep in now and then.
Wish me luck as I work on what so many of us work on, balancing life and work and managing stress. It’s a lifelong battle, is it not? I wish us all luck in that department. Breathe in, Breathe out!

Happy Sunday

With Love Janet