The Wall

A few weeks past I wrote about something my naturopath, Dr. Standish said. She described having cancer as like being on one side of a wall and people without cancer are on the other. And sometimes, we just can’t relate to or feel “normal” like people on the opposite side of the wall. It makes a lot of sense to me and helps me understand my anxieties especially around happy social situations that are overwhelming.

I’ve had a few people comment to me about this post and how they have felt the same way but for different reasons. It seems so clear now that just about everyone you meet has a wall and I think it is related to grief. I think anyone who is grieving something has a wall built up to some degree. I’ve been grieving for my health and my “normal” life but there are many kinds of loss and many kinds of grief. On Facebook the other day a friend mentioned having such a difficult time with Mother’s day as her mother has passed and she has no children of her own. Many of us have lost parents and I know too many who have lost children; I can’t even imagine their grief and how they have coped on their side of the wall. 

I guess, this is where peer support comes in. I have my two friends with stomach cancer, Gaby and Charlene. We email most weeks and hook up every month or so for coffee. We three are on the same side of my wall. It really helps to know they are here with me. This metaphor is helping me when I’m feeling overwhelmed and I hope it helps me be more sensitive to other people’s grief and loss.

Hope your day, where you are, is as sunny and beautiful as it is here, today.

love to you all

Janet