Labor Day Weekend
I’ve been going through the “one year ago” phase lately. Not checking back on the dates, exactly, but knowing that one year ago things were pretty sucky around here. I do believe it was one year ago this weekend that we put our little Rudy down. She had malignant melanoma. She was the absolute easiest dog we’ve ever had…not the sweetest or best…but easiest for sure. Now with our little Wilson, absolutely the most high maintenance dog we’ve had, we know just how easy and low maintenance little Rudy was. We miss you Rudy. You were a good girl.
One year ago I had been through maybe 3 chemo treatments by now…maybe just 2…I could fact check, but it doesn’t really matter. This was the time I started to get sick from the Xeloda. I went into the hospital early September last year, not to come out until three and a half weeks later, the first week of October.
It’s been quite a year. I remember that time in the hospital thinking that the school buses are going back and forth every day, kids are coming and going and I’m not there. I’m one of those people who think my world just simply cannot operate without me…how can Pathfinder possibly still be standing…it defied my personal logic. So there was a lesson learned; life really does go on.
Going back to school last week was overwhelming, to say the least. Wednesday was the first day we all met together as a staff. I walked in the room and had to go find a corner to get my shit together. I was overwhelmed and simply could not stop crying. There were so many people, just so many! Many whom I know and love and many others complete strangers. Then there were the people that weren't there any more! We have a huge staff as we have many kids with autism and other special needs in our building so we have a large staff of Instructional Assistants to help with the kids with special needs. Our school is K-8, so we have lots of teachers and support staff as well. Anyway, I think there might be 60-70 or so on staff…it’s a lot!
I finally got it together, and kept it that way for the most part. Our work was good, positive, energizing and as usual I’m so proud of the work we do as a staff to improve our school for the kids. As a whole, we are a thoughtful, heartfelt, hard-working group. New staff were quite impressed. I am happy to be back and to be a part of this group.
That night, my liver hurt more than it had for a while. I’m pretty sure it was from my emotional day and so much sitting all day. It was hard on my body. I had to just down all evening and work on breathing and relaxing.
Thursday we met again and did more heartfelt and thoughtful work as a staff. That night was the strike vote. I knew I could not go sit more and I knew it would take hours. Against my better self but protecting my physical self I went home instead of going downtown to vote. As it turned out, it was ok. A fairly unanimous SEA voted to strike. The district has not taken the negotiations seriously, they have not brought their best selves or intentions to the table in the negotiations since May, and now here we are ready to strike. Our strike does not officially start until Wednesday, Sept. 9, the first day kids are scheduled to attend school. So, the negotiating teams may come to an agreement this weekend and we’ll start on time. Or we may be striking. The strike would buy me some time to heal, so I’d be ok with that. I’ll also be ready to go to bat on the 9th, if there is an agreement reached.
Friday I went in for a bit and Mary Cook and Maria Callahan joined me to help put some finishing touches on the room. Mary, Maria and I all worked together years ago…back in the day when Michael and Maggie were at Pathfinder. We had a little reunion and a great time. Thank you both so much! It was great to catch up and to see you both!
I’ve had so much help getting the room ready! Thank you Mary and Maria, thank you Maggie, thank you Jenni and Emily and Angie, thank you Emma and there may be more who pitched in while I was in the hospital…I thank you, too!
Enough about school…here is a little update on the kids.
Maggie is quite settled in her little house in Fremont. It is adorable and in such a great location. Her birthday was just 2 days ago, she turned 24!! How is that possible? We all went to a spot in Fremont for dinner and then back to her place for cake and ice cream. She and Eva and I’m sure a few more are spending lots of time this weekend at Bumbershoot.
Michael and Eva are settling into their apartment (formerly Jennifer’s apartment!), 4 blocks east of Maggie’s house. The troll is literally 1/2 way between their homes. (If you are not a Seattlite, google the Fremont Troll, this is their neighbor!)
Eva just finished up her work in Portland, working from here, and has a new job in the Sodo neighborhood starting in a couple of weeks. Her parents will be up to visit next weekend for just a couple of days. I look forward to seeing them again.
Michael has had some time between jobs and has found Mike's lathe. He has taken to making bats and he does a great job! Oliver Bat Co. is a new and upcoming business and passion. Yesterday Michael rode his bike from Fremont to here to make a bat...he's got the bug. He and Mike can literally spend all day downstairs in the workshop...what lucky boys to have each other and to have found something they love to do together.
Michael is almost ready to turn in his application to the Seattle Fire Department. It is due later this month. It is our understanding that they need to hire quite a few new recruits so we are hopeful that he’ll make the cut. However, we know it is very competitive and sometimes people have to apply 3 or 4 times before they are accepted. So, here he goes…try #1.
In the meantime Michael is working with Maggie at APL (Academy for Precision Learning). They are both working in the kindergarten/first grade classroom as 1:1 aides for kids who are highly impacted by their autism. The school is in the U district so they ride their bikes to work together 4 days a week (on Mondays Maggie has to drive as she works with one student at their home after school). Their school started last week, there are some bumps that are getting ironed out, but they love their kids and are full of stories just like they heard growing up. It warms my heart to hear them talk about their kids.
Heart update…
Friday Mike and I went to see Dr. Mignone. I just can’t say enough good about that doctor. Like I’ve said before, he is a great teacher. He uses a white board and is very clear and easy to understand and he describes what is happening and what we want to have happen. The bottom line is things are going well. My meds are more stable, my BP and weight are more stable. I’ve only had to take one particular med, once (the day after Zippy’s) and not again and he said that was a good sign. He was happy with how things are going and said unless I have any problems I don’t need to see him for 6 weeks! Awesome! I will be starting cardio rehab the week after next, but if we are striking next week, I’m going to try and shift my appointments to start sooner. My heart will heal, I have no doubt about that.
Cancer update…
None really…I see Dr. Kaplan next week, and I think we’ll probably schedule a scan for November. I hope my liver pain goes away, like today…but that ablation really pissed my liver off, big time. We’ll see what the good Doctor has to say. In the meantime, I’m walking the fine line of living as if I have no cancer and making sure that come time for a scan I’m not blindsided if there is cancer. It is a balancing act…but for now, there is no reason to believe cancer will win. I have every reason to believe that I will.
I can’t believe I’m going to try and tell you a dream I had the other night… I’ll try to be concise…
I was in some kind of neighborhood where they had simply cut away the land and we (me and one person…a stranger) were walking along what was like a cliff. It was a sheer drop, maybe like 2-3 stories high with hard dirt sides and hard dirt at the bottom.
I fell and just caught myself by the fingertips. I was screaming for this person to help me and then realized they had pushed me on purpose. They were trying to kill me. I looked down and knew I wouldn’t die. I yelled to them, “I’m just going to break my ankles, I’m not going to die!” I wanted them to know that I was going to live and then come after them.
I woke up and knew immediately that the stranger was cancer. It was just going to break my ankles, not kill me.
Now that dream doesn’t really mean anything, but it makes me feel empowered. And for now, I’ll take that.
Hope you are all having a little fun, a little relaxation, or what ever it is you need this Labor Day Weekend.
I’ll keep you posted on the strike.
Love to you all,
Janet
Happy Birthday Maggie!
How about a few photos from one of the most amazing parts of our Ireland trip, to Turbot Island just off the West Coast near Clifden. This is the Island where Granny and Grandad (Kay and Ed) have a cottage. They lease some of their land to a cattle farmer for their cattle to graze. No one lives full time on the island. There is no way to the island except by private boat. We spent one night here with Kay and Ed, Eamonn and the kids. It was a unique and very Irish experience...so beautiful!
Wow, what a dream. Very empowering indeed. Thanks for sharing your latest update. I have been thinking about you tons and continue to send healing energy and light to your complete healing. Your pictures are so great too. What a beautiful bunch!!!! Blessings.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking of you too, Marcy and hope we have a BBQ tomorrow night so I can see everyone and maybe get some of the tears out of the way before the first day with kids! Thanks for all your support over this past year. Hope you are well.
DeleteCrazy dream Auntie J!!! Love that you are doing do well.
ReplyDeleteLive you. We miss you
Love you
DeleteLove you
DeleteIt was a crazy dream...and so, so clear! Weird...I live and love you too, wee Jamie. By the way, that island reminded me so much of the Secret of Roan Inish and I just kept calling and looking for Wee Jamie...you do remember that movie? If not...better go get it and watch it with those sweet girls of yours. xoxoxoxo
DeleteJanet, Wishing you strength as you start the school year. Love you! The Gray Family (Carmen, Sandra and Rob)
ReplyDeleteThinking of you-what a great dream!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the update Janet! Hope the strike doesn't last long so you can get back to doing what you do best! Praying for your strength as you start this new school year. Loved your dream! Love you too!������
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