Here is another extremely cute photo of my younger salmon kids on the Shore Run from Sunday morning. Emma and Avery were salmon for K and 1, they are now moving into 3rd grade!!! Yikes, time flies. And Lola and Mason have spent K in the Salmon Clan with Jessica and I’ll be taking over where she left off!

Friday, June 12

I’ve got the chemo blues…so happy to have so much stored love from the weekend…and from all of you!

I am so weepy these days. I just have to think about crying and I’m letting it all pour out. Dr. Standish advises it! I take most all of her advice!  And I can only think of about 27,000 reasons why I might be crying…

Here come the anniversaries. 

Last year at this time, I was ending up another year at Pathfinder. It was first grade, last year, I was more interested in packing for Ireland than packing up first grade, so I did a quick job on it knowing I’d be back in August for Jump Start Kindergarten and would finish up any loose ends then….

Ha! 

How little do we know! 

How little we control!

I never would have believed that cancer could have come in and taken over my life, our lives, so mightily. I never could have believed I would miss that whole year of school. And yet…

And then I never could have believed that I could be so, so, so close to getting rid of this cancer that I have the gaul to think about going back in the fall. But, I’m not just thinking about it, I’m planning on it. I have to! If I don’t it won’t be there for me.

Yesterday, one of the people from long term disability called me. She wanted to know how I was doing and if I was still on track to go back to work. She said everyone with stage 4 cancer wants to go back to work, but just how realistic is it for me? (She said it in a very nice way…) Well through the tears I told her that I had less than 5 mm of cancer left on my liver and that I was fully engaged with getting it out and getting me back to work. She was impressed. I have to let them know how it goes.

The day before that I spoke with a woman from the company that helps one navigate Social Security disability payments. We had a similar conversation. I have to let them know how it goes, too.

All these disability groups are getting me down. I’ve been so fortunate to have so many loving and generous teacher friends to donate sick leave to me, I’ve not needed the disability services at all. And, my sick leave will continue through September. So, if all goes as planned, i’ll be back to work with only a little loss in pay. Really, how blessed am I!!!!

Last year Maggie was in Limerick, Ireland, anxiously awaiting the end of her fabulous year as an au pair with a lovely family and 3 beautiful boys who she was madly in love with. Mike and I were winding up the school year, packing our bags to join her in Ireland. The weekend before we were to leave was the summer solstice and we made our way into Fremont to be part of the celebration (you just have to do that every few years to remember why we put up with all this traffic in Seattle!). We had a great time, saw the naked bike riders and much of the parade. We had no idea a year later Maggie would be living just blocks from where we stood that day.

One week after that was black poop of death day (see first post on this blog if you missed that) and nothing has been the same since.

So it’s almost been a year since our lives have been turned upside down due to cancer.

Monday, June 15

As usual I finally start to feel better the Monday after chemo. Man…it was a rocky weekend. I had planned to watch all 7 Harry Potter movies…I made it through just the first 1/2 of the first one…and I loved it. My neighbor/friend Lizzie is a big HP fan, and this is her favorite part of all the stories…as Harry starts learning about the magical world. I’m with her. It is a fabulous tale that is just beginning. But, for me, I’m going to go back to Mad Men…I have to admit I’m a big fan.

Friday, June 19

As usual I started to feel better on Monday, but it took me a while to figure out I really didn’t feel better until yesterday. Monday and Tuesday I ran around getting this and that done but realized when I was sitting with Roz on Tuesday afternoon, I really wasn’t ready for the real world. I spent Wednesday and Thursday back home finishing up my healing. 

This past chemo went a little further than the rest. It always burns my tongue. I still can’t eat spicy food and too much vinegar burns it also. But this time I got blisters on my lips as well. That had never happened. I just have to believe as the chemo was reaching further and further all the way to my lips that it was also reaching further into my liver to find those last cells of cancer. That is how I see it; that’s how it felt.

Mike and I are celebrating Father’s Day watching Michael play a double header in Portland. I’m not sure there is anything Mike would rather do on Father’s Day…we just wished Maggie was joining us. She, however is staying put in her neighborhood, the “Center of the Universe,” Fremont. This weekend is the Summer Solstice Parade and Fremont Fair. If you are not from Seattle you should google it and see just why Maggie is not leaving her neighborhood! It’s an experience!

I would like you all to pencil in Friday, August 21, maybe at 3:00 for a possible celebration. I’m not quite ready to fully commit…but if we have a party…that is when it will be and you are all invited…I’ll keep you posted!

Enjoy the Summer Solstice, let in the light!

Love, peace, good health to you

Janet