Everyday I seem to be feeling a little bit better, a little bit more “normal” for me. I don’t think anyone can explain what happened to my body. It feels so good to be getting myself back. And now I get a month. I am so grateful for this month to come. (knock on wood) No scans, no treatments, just building my strength, stamina and healing. It feels like a gift.

Last night, to celebrate Father’s Day, we had a pizza party with our neighbors. It was our smallest pizza party, just the neighbors and Lizzie’s brother and us, including Betty and Eva. I probably said this long ago, but the pizza oven was Vince’s response to my cancer. We had been talking about the oven for at least a year; debating size and location and design. When I was diagnosed, in my mind the next time I saw Vince he said, “We’re building the pizza oven.” And so “we” (really he) did! And I think back on all the pizza parties we’ve had and sometimes there are lots of people and sometimes it’s too cold and rainy and sometimes I just felt like crap. Last night was the first pizza party I can recall that I actually felt good. It was the first time in a long time I built a pizza (roasted eggplant, roasted garlic, goat cheese and fresh tomatoes...yum!) and it was the first time ever I actually cooked a pizza in the oven, and I did it twice! I even enjoyed a glass of wine~kind of a big glass, too!  Now there is a testimony! It feels so good to feel good. And I certainly don’t want to jinx it, but I certainly do want to live it, mark it, savor it be here for every minute of it! It is something I am not taking for granted these days.

Executive function is returning…I’m even planning! Mike and I are filling in the details to the outline of our trip back east and it is looking to be a good one. We are splurging a bit, thinking this dark hole has earned us some bonus points! I’m really starting to look forward to getting away, seeing our friends out there, traveling with Mike, being a tourist. A couple of weeks ago I couldn't see how we would pull it off. Now it makes me very happy to think about it!

Mike and the kids are in their last week of school. It is painful to go to school so late, all the way to the solstice, when it is light so very late and the kids are so ready for summer. Every teacher and kid I know is more than ready to be done. I’ll be going in to help clean up and pack up my room. It will be a challenge as I have not made a decision about next year. I’ll do what has to be done for now, then go back after my scan and decision in July.

Enjoy the light, the solstice.

Thank you for your support through the dark.

Lots of love

Janet