A picture paints a thousand words…but I’ll have 500 more to add!

8:15 Sunday morning, prior to the "race"

Mike selfie with Megan, Avery and Lola

Tracy and Maggie and Me

We did it! Betty, Glenda, Maggie, Eddie and me at the finish line!

I wish I had gotten a group picture with all our group…if someone has one, please send it my way and I’ll post it…or if you are missing and have a picture of you on the walk, send it, I’ll post it. I know Jenni, Joe, Emma and Mason are missing as are Danielle, Megan, Avery and Lola (though Megan, Avery and Lola are in Mikes selfie…no selfie stick needed!) I know Sandy did not get in the pic...any one else?? So, send me photos, email or text. I’d love to see them.

As you can tell is was a beautiful day and a great time was had by all…here is a few of us getting cold drinks in the neighborhood after the walk. After this as we headed off to our cars we got to see the kids run...talk about adorable! But I could hardly watch, waiting for someone to bite the asphalt!!

As if that was not enough fun for one day, check out my afternoon!

Many of my K/1 kids from 02-04
Class of 2015!
I look a little manic...it's pure bliss!

What's better than a selfie...the photo of the selfie!

The proud and the happy! Many soon to be empty nesters in this group.

Double cedars

What a day! Connie R. organized this event at Camp Long and all kids from that Salmon Clan class were invited (as least all the ones we could find, there were a few who had moved from the city). You can see why my cancer is slipping away, I am surrounded by positive energy and love! 

Roz, my dear friend and Sophie and Livvy’s mom, came into our class on a regular basis to teach us yoga. At the end of each year we published a yoga book. Each student practiced a specific pose, we photographed them, they wrote a poem about the pose and did a water color painting expressing how yoga or that pose made them feel. These books are a treasure! One from Kindergarten and one from First Grade. So, on Sunday we had them recreate the pose and many of them wrote poems as well. There poems are heartfelt and dear! We'll be creating another treasure! In the first grade book there is a photo of Roz and me doing the double tree pose, so of course we had to recreate our pose as well. What a special group of parents and kids. 

I’m hoping this will start a tradition, every two years getting the graduating salmon and their families back together! Whose next?

But the day was not over…Mike and Gillian invited us over for a fabulous copper river salmon dinner to talk about more detailed plans for Dublin, where we will share an apartment with them for 3 nights. Lots of fun to look forward to.

Thanks to everyone for such a great day! I’m so glad that I was able to attend all events and remain upright!

Monday was a busy day with appointments, then I had chemo yesterday…so this week I am missing some important events. Last night I was not able to go to West Seattle High School graduation, Friday night I’ll miss 8th grade graduation at Pathfinder (where some of my fabulous salmon will be graduating this year!) and I’ll miss Sealth graduation on Saturday where two of my former students share valedictorian and one is the salutatorian. In fact many of those students in the photos are taking home handsome awards and heading off to amazing places! This was a formidable group…they will do great things! So proud of them! They inspire me to want to go back and continue my work! 

I have to focus on the positive…I had a fabulous weekend with so many great events, if I have to miss some this week, then that is just the way it goes.

Back to chemo…Betty finally got to go with me, the last time she tried she ended up in the hospital with high blood pressure and a heart scare…but she is doing fine now! We took letters with us that I had saved from college from her and a few other good friends: Mig, Marsena, Sarah and Mary B. There were a few times we could not stop laughing, we made a “burn pile” and had to pass things back and forth that we just couldn’t bear to read out loud! Oh my! That first semester of college…no text, no FB, no email, very expensive long distance, and we were poor girls…so lots and lots of letters. We wrote things we would never trust to social media or even text or emails! I have to say I’m glad Betty does not think she has the letters I sent to her! Ppppwweesssshhh! I don’t really want to know what I said! I’ll leave that up to what is left of my memory and my imagination. The time flew right by. My chemo nurse was about our age and shared some stories of her own! She was a hoot!

So day after chemo is today…laying real low with my buddy Wilson. We’ve had to start a whole new level of desensitizing him now that we’ve had this heat spell and the windows are flung open. He hears every little thing and is quite sure it is dangerous…we are working through it! So one last photo as I sit here with Wilson swaddled in my arms to protect him from the cars on the gravel alley and the crazy barking/howling dogs up the street.

Three weeks to recover from chemo, trip to ireland, a PET scan shortly after we return and then...we'll just have to see. The only thing the good doctor would say for sure, is if there is any cancer left I will have no more epirubicin...I've just hit my limit and it would pose too big a threat on my heart to have more. So if there is cancer...I have no idea what he'll do, he is not a speculator! If there is no cancer...I have quite a bit to do!

Love, light, strength, peace, hope to you all!

I would not be this far along without you!

Janet~who is very nearly cancer free as far as we can tell!

Me and Lou
new T-shirt from Betty:
strong is the new strong
(love it)

The Make-a-Wish run on Friday was a magnificent event and a huge success! There was a beautiful, powerful, positive energy and a bright sunny day to witness the event. Lou made me Grand Marshall of the day and his friend Connie crowned me with a tiara, a feather boa and a colorful badge! There were also two kids who have struggled with their health and whose wishes Lou had helped with in the past. Mike, Michael and Maggie were all there to kick off the event along with the 500 Pathfinder students, some of their parents and the staff. We walked off and on all morning (Mike had to leave early to get to work) with a variety of friends and students. At one point I was walking with my dear former student Hannah, she looked at me and asked me what I had wished for, I said, my wish is coming true right now. She gave me a big smile. Hannah’s smiles always warm my heart…they are good medicine to me!

The whole event was healing and uplifting. I walked with my teacher friends, parent friends, former students and future students. I took a break from the walk after Michael and Maggie left and went in to get to know “my kids” a little better. Jessica let me read aloud a few stories to them after lunch. I spent some time learning their names and getting to know them just a little bit. It was exhausting and reminded me what I need to gear up for in the fall! (For those of you not from Seattle; Washington is 47th in the nation for class size and 26 5 &6 year olds is a busy classroom!)

I couldn't quite make it through the whole day, but I went outside and walked 2 more laps with Lou before I left. He is an amazing man, with an amazing heart who has done so much for the Make-a-Wish organization and for our community. Lou gets to retire in a couple of weeks. He will be greatly missed.

Jessica, Janet, David, Jennifer and Maggie
Maggie is wearing her Pathfinder Unicycle Team T-shirt!
Lou is famous for his unicycle teams!

Yesterday I had another appointment with my fabulous naturopath, Dr. Standish. We talked about many things, including all the things she will do after my last chemo, to help me get strong and ready for the fall. I asked her for suggestions for when we travel to Ireland. She told me to forget about taking my supplements (leave the glutamine and turkey tail at home), don’t worry about what is or isn’t organic, just enjoy the vacation. I told her I was going to drink the waters of Ireland, she said, great! I said, I mean the Guinness and the Jameson. She said, I know what you mean! Guinness is good for you, full of B vitamins! So, there you go, I have the blessing of one of the smartest women I know! 

We have a super busy weekend coming up, one more chemo next week, then we have 3 weeks to get ready for out trip! One step at a time, but it looks like it is really going to happen this  year!

With love and hope and strength,

Janet

The challenge that is chemo recovery….

I am surprised every time about how long it takes me to remember what recovering from chemo is like…

I think I know.

I think I’m an expert.

Then I’m blindsided, weepy.

Then once again on Monday I’m better and surprised by how good I feel.

The steroids are the culprit.

Steroids with chemo on Tuesday

3 tabs Wednesday

2 tabs Tuesday

1 tab Friday… feeling pretty good.

Saturday; I felt good yesterday…now it’s Saturday, I can do anything…

for about 30 minutes…Then I’m pissed and I just keep going. Then I hit the wall, then I cry. Saturday and Sunday are for crying.

Then it’s Monday and I fell so much better and it all comes back to me how I just have to wait until Monday to feel better. You all know this, you’ve read it time and again! I never knew how stubborn I was until I got cancer.

I have a strategy for next round of chemo. On Saturday and Sunday, after chemo,  I’m going to have a Harry Potter marathon. I’m going to watch every one of them in a row and then if I finish early, I’ll repeat my favorites. I’d invite you all to join me but it is my quarantine period. Michael and Maggie will be in Portland that weekend sending off our dear, dear Nora back to the East coast. Lizzy our neighbor (June’s mom) is a big Harry Potter fan, so if they are all healthy and she can get away, I know she’ll come join me for one or more!

But now it is Thursday and I’m feeling pretty good. In fact I’ve felt very good this week and each day since Monday have taken a progressively longer walk, preparing for tomorrow’s big Make-a-Wish run with Lou! The weather is gorgeous and it should be a fabulous day celebrating Lou and all he has done for Pathfinder and the Make-a-Wish Foundation. I’ll let you know how it goes!

Mike took Wilson in on Saturday to remove a growth from his hind leg. We knew it was some kind of tumor, it was ugly and growing and changing. It needed to be removed. We got word from the vet on Tuesday that it is no big deal…not cancer…just a funky growth. So….ppphhhheewwwwssssshhhh…a little too close of a call for our family!

Wishing you no close calls…a healthy and beautiful day…and lots of love!

Janet 

Recovering from chemo

As chemo treatments go this one was not so bad. I had it late in the day, 3:00 check in, which I did not think I would like but there were some definite upsides. I got to work out in the morning, I ran lots of little errands, even walked the doggies (we’re watching Gertie for a few days). 

Since it was Mike’s birthday I picked up extra goodies for our “picnic dinner”. I got Mike a yummy husky deli sandwich, I got my favorite tuna croissant at Bakery Nouveau along with a couple of goodies worthy of a birthday celebration.

We got to see the good doctor before chemo and I asked him to explain the scan results a little more to me as it was difficult for me to compare the PET scan results from March to the CT scan results of May. The bottom line…there is one more spot on my liver…that is all…and it is less than 1/5 of an inch. I was like…can’t I just get in there and pick that thing off!!!! Come on! Less than 1/5 of an inch is not very big!!!! So again, I have hopes up that these last 2 chemos will do the trick, but I have to protect myself from such high hopes…its a tight rope to walk, stretched between hope and reality!

After the doc we head down to chemo. We had excellent nurses that were just the right amount of chatty and engaging for me. And we literally were the last patients on the floor that night. I think we got out of there around 8:00. The upside of that is that chemo evenings are never that pleasant, so it was short and sweet and right to bed.

I took my good advice and laid very low yesterday. I watched Little Miss Sunshine (love that movie!). I watched the latest episode of Call the Midwife (last of the season I think). I watched one or two (maybe 1 1/2) episodes of Mad Men. I know I told myself I could watch them all…but that is not going to happen. I’m already itching to get back to that todo list that I blasted so vehemently in a previous post. I can’t help it…I am who I am…I’m a todo list maker and doer…I can’t help myself. I’ll just be doing the easy things today mixed with a little screen time for sure!

It’s a gorgeous day. I do have a few plants to get into pots (One of the errands was to West Seattle Nursery and got some tomatoes from PCC). I need to do that before it gets too warm out on the deck. What a lovely thought for mid May!

Just a few upcoming events…reminder if you want to do the shore walk/run we are team Stomp Out Cancer and here is the link:

http://shorerun.com/registration/

This year the Make-a-Wish run is on Friday June 29 at 8:45 a.m. at Pathfinder....Oops...May 29th is the Make a Wish run!

Many of you are familiar with Lou’s Make-a-Wish Run. I think I my have mentioned it in this blog before, but here it is again. Lou, our fabulous PE teacher at Pathfinder, every year around his birthday, has been celebrating his good health by sponsoring a fundraiser for the Make-a-Wish foundation. Each year he makes the run one lap longer to match his age. The entire school is involved and it is a Pathfinder event not to be missed! Lou is active in the Make-a-Wish organization all year long, but this is his big fundraiser. He is collecting donations, if you are interested you can drop or send checks to school made out to Make-A-Wish Foundation. Or you can send them to me, and I’ll get them up to Lou.  I’ll be there walking along with my Pathfinder friends! Calling all Pathfinder folks, to be there too, if you can, but also to donate to this worthy cause. By the way, Lou is retiring this year, we hope he makes it back for this annual event. He will be missed!!

Every year Lou comes around to classrooms promoting the run and the fundraiser and shows tear jerking videos. Here is one of my favorites if you are on the fence about donating to make-a-wish…get out your hankies:

I can’t seem to get a live link, type in the google bar, 

Juni! you’re going to Disneyland! youtube

It’s a sweet one!

ok, off to do a few little todos…

Have a good day, Happy May!

Love to you all,

Janet

That was a set back, but I’m regaining my footing. How does one stay positive, keep up positive visualizations, and yet protect oneself when the reality does not match the positive vision? I’m figuring that out. It’s a rocky road for sure.

Here is a no wig, cap only, Trader Joe story from earlier last week…

I had a grocery cart full of goodies getting ready for the weekend pizza party and birthday celebration for Mike. My checkout girl had just started ringing up my groceries and I had just started bagging them, and I don't think she had really looked up at me yet. I was gently nudged from behind by my old friend Connie H. I taught all 3 of Connie’s kids (her oldest the same age as Maggie) and Connie is a breast cancer survivor. She asked how I was doing, commented on my progress as she reads my blog and in our greetings it registered with my checkout girl that I had cancer. She asked if I’d gone through cancer treatment. Oh, do you mind if I ask?

No, I don’t mind at all (I don’t…I’d much rather talk about it than pretend I don’t have it when it is as obvious as the stubble on my head) 

Yes, I have cancer and am still going through treatment, or I might be done, I’ll  find out on Friday.

Do you mind if I ask what kind? 

No, of course not, stomach cancer.

She said, My dad had cancer, he’s doing great. I have a friend, 23 years old who had cancer, got through treatment, the cancer went away and it has now reoccured.

I said, 23 years old and you’ve already gotten rid of cancer once and it’s back. Now that sucks!

There was a lot more to the conversation; we talked about the kind of cancer her dad and her friend had, we talked about her name and her hair, Connie’s daughter is also named Holly and has curly hair, too!

She was very dear, very sweet. I noticed the woman in the line behind us smiling, even though our conversation was definitely slowing the checkout process down.

Then as I started to leave, she gave me a hug. So, so, sweet, and dear. She made me cry. Connie walked me to my car and took the cart afterwards. 

I love exchanges with kind people, with or without a wig!

Epic Pizza

That is what I would call our pizza parlor if we opened one in our front yard. That is what happened here Saturday night…Epic Pizza. I couldn’t tell you how many people or toppings we had or how many pizzas went into and out of the oven, but it was a fabulous time! Thanks to all for helping celebrate Vince’s return to Seattle and the May birthdays!

Our weekend continued with brunch on Sunday (we almost always do brunch with our Portland people and rarely do it without them…there is something about Portland and brunch…they just go together). Mike and I enjoyed our time with six 20 somethings through brunch and then Betty joined us for a birthday celebration for Mike. The nearly flourless dark chocolate cake that I make for many a birthday actually tasted good to me again! Yum-O. Mike, of course, liked it, too! It’s a favorite around here.

Then after the house cleared, Mike and I ended our evening with a dinner and walk down at Alki. Not a novel idea; the place was packed, but for good reason! What a beautiful evening for the beach! 

A beautiful day today and I’m getting my head around chemo tomorrow.

Much love to you all

Janet

Scan results…

It’s not gone, it’s still there, but just a small spot, even smaller than before. But rather than going with radiation like Dr. Kaplan mentioned last time he wants to do 2 more rounds of chemo. He is right…it does work…it has worked….it continues to work for me…so chemo it is.

My echocardiogram looked good and I’m not at the upper limit for the epirubicin so I can continue with both oxalyplatin and epirubicin. and so I will.

First round (13th round really) on Mike’s birthday, Tuesday, May 19th. and 14th round on Tuesday June 9th then 3 weeks after that we are going to Ireland. When we come back I’ll get a scan (hopefully a PET scan). And we’ll go from there. 

I really had my heart set on no more chemo, so it feels like a set back and it’s not. The cancer is smaller that is good news! I was somewhat convinced it would be gone and my hair would grow and my taste buds would continue to come back to me, but in the back of my mind I made up a consolation prize. I told myself if I have to have chemo I get to sit on the couch and watch every episode of Mad Men all over again! And so, next Wednesday,  and beyond that is where you can find me. I have so many things I wanted to get done and here and now I say “Fuck it!” to my todo list. My fucking todo list will just have to wait. (Can you tell I am a little bitter???)

I made it clear to the good doctor that I intend to go back to work in the fall and chemo wears me out, and I need time after that last chemo to get my groove back. He heard me and he said I’d be ready (though  I don’t know when the last time he saw a classroom of 6 and 7 year olds…). But that is my goal and my intention. If my last chemo is June 9th, I’ll have Ireland to heal me and then the rest of the summer to get back my strength and stamina. 

It’ll be grand (as they say in Ireland).

I’ll be enjoying some wine this weekend, celebrating Mike’s birthday with friends and the kids and their friends and some neighbors. So: Life is Good! (cancer and chemo sucks….but life is good!)

Have a great weekend…enjoy!

love, love, love to you all

thanks for reading my rant!

Janet

So much to be grateful for…

I’ve had such a full and fun week! My sister, Kathy, and her husband, Mickey arrived Tuesday afternoon and stayed through brunch yesterday. We packed a great deal of fun, food and relaxation into those days. We ate pizza: Delancey and Serious Pie. We road tripped it: LaConner and Whidbey Island. We spent time at the Pike Place Market on Friday and spent the entire day hanging out at our house on Saturday, enjoying the weather, the yard sale across the street and Lizzie and June our neighbors. Sunday, Mike’s mom, Dee, came over from Vashon and joined us for brunch. There were 8 for Mother’s Day brunch at Boat Street Cafe. What a fabulous and yummy time we had! I just wish my mom could have been here. After brunch we had a tearful goodbye to Kathy and Mickey. They are now enjoying a couple of days in Coeur D’Alene, Idaho, then onto Yellowstone before finally making their way home to Boulder. It was great spending time with them and we hope to make it to Boulder in the near future!

I had such a difficult time enjoying myself through the winter holidays and my birthday and I better prepared myself for Mother’s Day.  First of all, I’m feeling pretty darn good…so that helps right up front. I have my wig so I look a little more normal and that makes me feel a little more normal. I took an ativan about 10:00 am to help take the edge off any anxiety I might have had and then celebrated with a Kir Royale. And it worked! I was able to just relax and enjoy the time together with family. And only cried when it was really appropriate to cry! 

After brunch we came home and sat around and relaxed with the kids and Dee.

Michael’s good friend Dylan came over with his mom and dad, Elizabeth and Phillip to watch Felix pitch a great game. Michael and Dylan were room mates for 3 years in college and played ball together. Unfortunately for us we did not really meet Elizabeth and Phillip until their senior year. They are a lovely couple, lovely people and Elizabeth is hilarious, she always makes me laugh. So, we had a great time hanging out, watching the Mariners and taking it easy. Finally, Dee went home to Vashon, Elizabeth and Phillip headed back to Portland and Michael and Dylan went to play catch for a while. Towards dinner time the kids rallied, went to the store and we ended up all pitching in to make kabobs for a late dinner. Somewhere in there Lizzy and June came over so we had a good baby fix for the day. All in all, it was a sweet day, one of the best mother’s day ever.

I’ll take it and keep that as a treasure.

Now, I just have to wait until Friday for that scan…Watch this space!

Love and Peace and Hope is what I’m feeling this week and sending to you…

Janet

P.S. My car is an '87 Camry with nearly 200,000 miles on it. I love it because it starts every time I turn the key, the heater warms it up quickly and we paid $1300 for it 8 or 9 years ago! But it was nasty, dirty; I was embarrassed to drive it. The pollen was dried like cement to the windows, doors, really all over the car. It needed more TLC than I had the energy to offer. Yesterday morning for mother's day the kids took it up to the car wash and cleaned it inside and out! Maggie even replaced the hanging origami peace crane which had broken off and molded. Now you will see me proudly riding through West Seattle in my shiny car! Thanks, kids! I so appreciate you cleaning up the Camry!